Facing The Consequences of One's Actions
by ApacheLady
Summary: After the Christmas Party Sherlock realizes he wants Molly. Then comes the fall and he does everything to keep her at arms length. He wants to protect her at any cost even if it means breaking her heart. After an unspeakable betrayal she leaves Sherlock and London for good. He realizes what he's lost and is determined to get her back at any cost. Is it to late for them?
1. Chapter 1 The Christmas Party

**I do not own the Sherlock Characters, I just lovingly borrow them!**

**Chapter 1**

**The Christmas Party**

My heart was broken. How could he say such awful things to me? What had I done to deserve his bitter, hurtful words? Heartbroken and stupid, this is what I felt. I stood there with everyone's eyes on me and a silence that was suffocating.

"You always say such awful things, always." It was all I could say as I watched him check the name tag on the gift. I saw the minute he realized whose heart I was after. I closed my eyes bloody well determined not to cry. Not one damn tear would I shed for him.

"I'm sorry," he had said in a low voice. I almost thought I was hallucinating. Sherlock doesn't apologize ever, to anyone.

I watched him close the distance and lean down to kiss my cheek. "Merry Christmas, Molly Hooper."

My heart stopped. I looked at him, but he wouldn't look me in the eyes. I turned, put my drink down with a thud, grabbed my coat and flew down the stairs. Once out in the street I gasped for air. The cold, Christmas Eve air rushed into my lungs. I would never be able to live down this humiliation. All of our colleagues and friends had bared witness to my humiliation. Just then the door to 221 opened and slammed shut.

"Molly!" I turned to see Greg shrugging on his coat and coming towards me. I could see the tender look in his eyes. He was a well-seasoned DI, but I knew he had a heart of gold under that rough exterior.

"Molly, I won't ask if you're ok. I know you're not, but let me make sure you get home ok?" I stood there and looked at him while taking in some much needed deep breaths.

"Why did he do it? What…what have I ever done to deserve that? All I've ever done is be there and lo…love him." I said the last words almost as a hushed whisper.

"Molly, why do you love him? He doesn't deserve someone like you!" He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me dead in the eyes.

"I, I don't know. You can't tell your heart who to love. I can't imagine ever loving anyone else other than Sherlock."

"So, he is the one for you? Are you sure he is what you truly want?"

"Yes," I whispered again.

"Ok, Molly. Listen to me very carefully. In about 10 seconds I'm going to kiss you." I looked up with an alarmed and confused expression.

"Yes, you heard me. I'm going to kiss you and whatever you do, don't look up at the windows for 221b. I can feel that bastard staring me down as we speak."

With that he pulled me close, warm hands circling around my waist. I watched as his lips descended on mine. At first I stood there not responding. I broke this kiss and moved back only a few inches. I looked into his eyes and thought, "What the hell, it's Christmas!"

With that I put my arms around his neck and stood on my tip toes. My eyes closed as he devoured my lips again. This time I yielded everything I had in me. Our tongues played that age old dance and I felt his hands tighten around me moving down my back and cupping my ass. A slight moan escaped from me and I heard him growl. Bloody hell, this man could kiss! Just when I thought my knees would give out, he pulled away. For several seconds we just stood there, breathing hard and looking into each other's eyes.

"Damn, Molly are you sure he's the one you want?"

I shook my head yes. Even though Greg was a master kisser he wasn't Sherlock. "Come on," he said as he waived down a cab.

"Do you trust me Molls?" He held out his hand to me. I nodded my head yes. He smiled and opened the cab door for me. I hoped in and he slid in next to me, gave the cabbie my address and off we went.

"Greg, you had your car parked back there on the street." I said with a confused look on my face.

"I know, and it will stay there until morning. I'm crashing on your couch tonight."

"You, you are?" I asked even more confused.

"Yep, and that tosser will be checking every hour to see if I have come back for it. And when I don't come back until the early morning hours to get it, well let's just say he won't be happy." He said with a smile on his face.

"Umm, Greg, he would have to care for this to bother him."

"Oh Molls, I may not be a great consulting detective like Sherlock, but I'm a pretty smart guy. I've seen the way he has looked at you when you are busy looking down a microscope. I clearly heard him apologize tonight, which in the 9 years I've known him he has never done. And add to the fact that he was watching us through the sitting room window I have no doubt he will be livid by morning."

"Ok, if you say so." I sat back a little further in the cabs seat.

"Molly, I'm going to let you in on a little secret about men. We may have a toy we don't really care for, but when another boy comes along and wants to play with it; well we get very interested in it again. Mark my words, you will hear from him before we even make it to your flat."

He leaned back, grinning and chuckled low. He always loved when he could get one up on Sherlock. I smiled and was about to dispute him when my text alert went off.

"Whatever you do, don't open it. Let him see you haven't taken the time to open it. Let him think you are too occupied with me to answer it. Stick with me Molls and I will have him eating out of your hand in a few weeks."


	2. Chapter 2 Poke The Bear

Chapter 2

Poke the Bear and See What Happens

Sherlock had tuned out the Christmas music, talking and laughter behind him. All he could concentrate on was the scene unfolding below him on the sidewalks in front of 221. He clenched his fist as he watched Graham kiss Molly. Why the hell did it make him feel like he couldn't breath and he wanted nothing more than to march downstairs and knock Graham on his arse. He watched as Molly had surrendered her lips up and willingly got into a cap with Greg. Why was this affecting him so much.

He turned and cast an eye over the gathering of people. He eyed the gift from Molly, grabbed it and took off to his bedroom. Once there he slammed the door shut and locked it. Sitting on the bed he placed the neatly wrapped package on his nightstand. He observed it as he would a bomb wondering how to dismantle it without it blowing up in his face. Slowly he took the wrapping apart and opened the small box. Inside he found two items. He picked up the small paperweight that had a well preserved bee in amber. He had remembered telling her if he lived long enough to retire, he would do so to the country and bee keeping. Placing the object down he brought out the book that was also in the box. He turned it over and smiled. It was a book he had loved as a child, Treasure Island. He placed both items on his night stand and stretched out on his bed. He pondered the gifts and realized the thought she had put into them. And then he had torn her apart. He closed his eyes and decided he would find a way to make it up to her.

SHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMH

"Greg," I murmured as I shook the snoring bear on my couch. "Greg!"

He sat up with some alarm, blinking a few times until his eyes focused. "Molls, what's wrong?"

"I got a text from my boss. There has been a body found and I've been requested to come in and deal with the autopsy."

He smiled as it dawned on him. "I just bet you were requested. Tell me Molly, how many missed texts do you have from Sherlock?"

I gave a shy smile, "6 missed texts."

He stood up and started unbuttoning his dress shirt. I backed up a little bit not knowing how to react. He sensed my uneasiness and stopped. "Listen Molls, he is going crazy because you are not responding. We are going to poke the bear and see what happens. Put on some tight jeans and this." He said throwing his shirt to me. I smiled as I took the hint.

"Oh, one more thing," he said grabbing my hand and pulling me to him. "We need to make it look real." With that his lips went to my neck and began to kiss. I hated to admit it but my toes did curl a bit. A few breathless minutes later I walked into my bedroom to dress and glanced into the mirror to fix my hair and spotted it, or should say them. Two love bites right in plain view from his shirt.

On the way over to Bart's in the cab we laid out what would happen. I just prayed to God I could pull it off. Level headedness was never my strong point when Sherlock was in the room.

We walked into Bart's hand and hand. He wore his dress pants and white undershirt under his coat. I wore his dress shirt, tight jeans and lips swollen enough to see that they had been kissed and kissed often. When we got to the morgue doors he stopped me and whispered in my ear, "Stand up to the bastard, don't let him disrespect you ever again." With that he gave my hand a squeeze and through the doors we went.

SHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMH

I stood there with Mycroft for what seemed an eternity. Mycroft had obersrved my agitated state and simply rolled his eyes. I knew what she was doing and who she was doing it with, but what the hell was taking so long and why was I so pissed off about it?

Just then I saw them through the door windows. He was leaning down whispering into her ear and she smiled sweetly up at him. They turned and came through the doors.

"Ah, Doctor Hooper nice of you to accommodate us. We need to see the young lady who was brought in two hours ago." Mycroft said.

"Sure, give me a second." With that she went to hang her coat up and my heart jumped when I saw she was wearing Greg's shirt. I glanced over at the bastard as he leaned up against the door frame watching every move she made. After a few minutes Molly wheeled in the body.

"Nice of you to come in Molly on Christmas," I said. She needn't know I had demanded her to be called in.

"Well, I don't mind really." She said sweetly and then I saw them. The bastard had marked her like some caveman. What the bloody hell. No, this wasn't going to happen if I had anything to say about it. My eyes shot over to the smug bastard still standing up against the door.

"Greg, why have you been sleeping on the couch? " Greg stood up a little at that and smiled at Molly.

"I don't even want to know how the hell you know that but if you must know it's kind of where we landed when we got to Molly's."

"Hmm, odd that you would see her home just to sleep on her couch isn't it?"

Molly could sense he was sniffing out the story and she had to think fast.

"Sherlock!" She said with a demanding voice he had never heard from her.

"My damn personal life is none of your bloody business!"

"Molly I was just making a deduction from what I see."

"Yes, well Sherlock, people can have sex anywhere they bloody well please. On a couch, kitchen countertop, bedroom or a lab table! And we were well on our way when Mike texted that he needed me. Now do you want to see this body or did you drag me in here for no reason?"

Sherlock looked shocked. He was finally realizing that his mousy Molly had a backbone and a bite. Greg stood there in awestruck of the mousy girl who just turned into a lioness. He half wished he could take her home and shag her into the mattress and make her forget about bloody Sherlock Holmes.

Mycroft cleared his throat and motioned for the sheet to be let down. Sherlock glanced at it and then asked to see the rest of her body. So Molly pulled the sheet all the way down. He simply said "That's her." Turned and walked out.

A little confused she asked Mycroft how Sherlock had identified her from just her body. To which she was met with a smile and an unsure look. She simply rolled my eyes and placed the sheet back over the body. She would never understand either one of the Holmes brothers.

Just as she was about to pull out her gloves and equipment the morgue doors swung open again. Sherlock stood next to Greg, "Greg, I'm sure you must be tired. Why don't you head home? I will see Molly home once she has completed the autopsy."

Greg looked at Molly and smiled. "Sherlock, I think I will hang around and take her home once she is finished. We have some unfinished business to tend to." He looked at Molly and winked. She couldn't help but blush and clear her throat a little. She had to admit; Sherlock seemed put off by his answer and rushed out the doors again with a huff.

Greg came closer to her and put his arm around her. He leaned down and whispered, "I told you so."

Five minutes passed and his phone pinged. He looked down and a wide smile crossed his face. He walked over to Molly and showed her the screen. It was from his boss demanding he come into work right now to start on the case of Irene Adler's dead body.

"Wonder who made this happen? Ok Molly I have to go for now." He moved closer and bent down so only he and she could hear what he was saying. In a low whisper he said, "I will give you even odds as soon as I'm gone he will resurface and take you home later. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He kissed her lightly on the ear. "If you ever decide he's not the one, let me know. I will never forget kissing you Molly!"

With that he turned and left. She stood there for a moment and gave a shuddering breath out followed by a light moan. No two ways about it, Greg was a sexy man and a damn good kisser. If only her heart would beat for him, it would be so much easier. Shaking her head she focused on getting ready for the pending autopsy. No less than 10 minutes later the doors swung open and in came one Sherlock Holmes with a pretty pleased look on his face. If only he knew he wasn't as clever as he believed himself to be and Greg wasn't as dumb as he thought.


	3. Chapter 3, Don't Over Think It

Chapter 3

Don't Over Think It, Just Go With It

Three hours and several conversations later the Adler autopsy was done. Sherlock had disappeared an hour ago. I was tired and ready to go home and crawl into bed. I finished the remaining paperwork, texted Mike my findings and grabbed my coat. At this point I really didn't care where Sherlock had disappeared to. I locked up the doors and started walking down the hall. I heard heavy footsteps behind me and knew who they belonged to. I smiled slightly to myself as I remember Greg's prediction. He caught up and fell in step with me, silently handing me a cup of coffee.

"Thanks" was all I said. So the man could make coffee himself? Who would have ever thought!

I walked out to hail a cab, thankful for the warm coffee to keep me warm on this cold night. It had started to snow and it was simply beautiful. He opened the cab door for me and I said goodnight as I got in. He stood there holding the door not saying a word. I could see in his eyes he was arguing with himself inside that beautiful mind of his. Finally he motioned for me to move over and got in next to me. He instructed the cabbie to head for Baker Street. I assumed he just wanted to share a cab and nothing else. I sunk back into the seat, took a sip of my coffee and watched the new snow coming down outside. It looked so much like a snow globe. I felt almost like a child again I was so excited for the snow. I glanced at him and finally realized he was staring at me.

"Wh, what?" I asked but he said nothing but just kept staring at me. I rolled my eyes and looked back out the window.

After a short ride we arrived at Baker Street and he got out. Handed the cabbie some money and stood there. He held out his hand still not saying a word to me. I hesitated, but he reached in and grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the cab. Walking slowly he opened the door to 221, led me up the stairs and into the sitting room. I so didn't want to be back in this room so soon after what had transpired the past evening. He said nothing, but went to stand in front of the fire place and stoked the fire. I walked over to the window and continued to watch the snow coming down outside. What was he doing? Why wouldn't he say anything? I heard a door open and close behind me. I turned to see he was gone. What the hell was he up to? I guess he figured I would sleep on the couch? I was tired, too tired to play games that was for damn straight. I walked towards the door, put my coat on and headed out the door. I began my decent down the stairs when I finally heard his baritone voice behind me. "I, I was jealous."

I turned, looked up at him in disbelief. "When I saw the package, your dress and the way you looked I assumed you had found a new man in your life."

I stood there and opened my mouth to say something but he held his hand up to stop me. "Molly, I'm not good with words so please let me finish. I, I thought you were moving onto someone new. So I lashed out, wanted to hurt you and make you feel what I was feeling. Then when I saw you leave with Greg, I decided I had been an utter ass and was determined to make a mends. When you didn't respond to my messages I assumed I had lost my chance. Be, before you leave can you please come back into the sitting room for a moment. I have something to give you."

He held out his elegant fingers beckoning for my hand. After a moments pause I gave him my hand and allowed him to guide me back into the sitting room and by the fire. "I acquired this a while back, but I've been waiting for the right moment to give it to you."

He picked up a box from the mantel piece that was wrapped in silver and held it out to me. "Merry Christmas, Molly."

I glanced at the beautiful little package. I dropped my purse and coat into John's old chair. With shaking fingers I pulled the paper apart and opened the velvet box contained inside. I glanced down to find a badge. Not just any badge, but my father's old badge from the force. I had thought it was long lost and had given up hope on ever finding it. After he was killed in the line of duty his badge had been misplaced when his desk and personal effects were cleared out. I had mentioned it to Sherlock and had assumed he hadn't listened, but now it appears he was listening after all. Here was an important piece of my father that I thought had been lost forever. The tears came and wouldn't stop.

"Thank you, Sherlock." It was all I could choke out in between silent sobs.

I became aware of fingers wiping my tears away and then arms around me. I sniffed a little, took a deep breath and then looked up into those amazing eyes. He looked at me as if he were putting a puzzle together. He looked lost and cautiously curious at the same time. Without warning he leaned down and kissed me. I stood there and felt as if I had been struck by lightning. He pulled me closer and his kiss became more demanding. I moaned into his mouth and put my arms around his neck and into the curls at the base of his neck. With that his whole body shuddered and he moaned into my mouth. I felt his hands in my hair pulling my ponytail loose and then running his hand through it. He broke the kiss and I thought he was going to pull away. I opened my eyes to find his closed.

"Stay with me tonight?" He breathed heavily as he placed his forehead against mine.

"Let me show you that I'm not a complete arsehole." He smirked a little and almost looked like a little boy waiting to see if he would get what he wanted for Christmas.

I stood there my mind was buzzing with the events of the last 24 hours. And now the man of my dreams was standing in front of me asking to take me to bed. What was I waiting for? I went over the last five years of my life with this man in it. I had been ignored, hurt and used so many times. I had wanted to give up on him so many times. Wanted to walk away and delete him from my life. It would have been far easier on my heart if I had. Now this same man stood before me baring his heart and soul. My heart told me to take a leap and see where it would go, but my head told me to run and get as far away from him as I could. Molly Hooper, you are going to be hurt badly by this man. I shook my head and glanced up into his ever changing eyes. There was something there I hadn't seen before. They were full of longing, desire and curiosity. For once I wasn't going to be the common sense Molly. I was going to leap and fall into his orbit.

I put my hand on his face, gave him a warm smile, "take me to bed Sherlock."

With that his eyes closed and he gave a soft sigh. When he opened them again they were dark and stormy. I knew after this night there would be no going back. Whatever we had been would be no more. He took my hand ever so gently and walked me to his room. Once inside I glanced around and smiled. It was so him even down to the expensive sheets and periodic table on the wall. I heard the door lock and I felt him behind me. His arms circled around me and I sighed as I leaned back into him. He softly kissed my neck and worked his way up to my ear. A shiver ran through me. I was about to make love to Sherlock Holmes, hell Sherlock was about to make love to me. God, how many times had I dreamed about this moment never once believing it could happen? He turned me around and crashed his lips down on mine. There was a hunger there that both excited and freighted me. I clung to him and allowed him to take the lead. After a period of time we both came up for air. Both breathing heavily and each looking at one another. "Molly, I want you!"

"Sherlock, you already have me!"

I didn't think I could fall anymore in love with this man, but as he made love to me I found I was wrong. His love making was at times tender and then at other times demanding. I knew I would never want another after this night. I was convinced that he would be the only man I could ever love.

Afterwards as they lay in each other's arms he cuddled her to him and kissed her back and held her tightly. He was content and for the first time he smiled out of pure joy. She lay with her back to him stroking his forearm with her fingers. Where did they go from here? This Sherlock was so foreign to her and she wasn't sure how to read him. Would he revert back to the Sherlock from less than 24 hours ago who had verbally attacked her? She was trying to relax and just live in the moment. But somewhere deep inside she knew it was only a matter of time before she would be hurt again.

"Molly, stop!" he said in almost a low growl.

"Sorry, I, I just can't believe we are here together. I mean, what changed? You've never indicated you viewed me in this way. I just find it hard to believe."

"Well, believe it. You above all people should know the significance of tonight for me. I have always kept people and emotions at arms length. It has been many years since I've been with anyone. The last time was at Uni and I was high. I've been clean for several years now and you are the only person I have wanted to be with. Somehow you crept into my heart little mouse. Now stop worrying and go to sleep. We will discuss our future tomorrow over breakfast. Please understand this will be a very late breakfast as I plan on keeping you up most of the night my little mouse!"

With that he flipped her over and she gave a squeal of delight. He followed with a chuckle. After a few minutes the only sounds being heard in the room were those of sighs and moans.


	4. Chapter 4 The Game And The Fall

**Chapter 4**

**The Game and The Fall**

So many lovely months went by of just being together. Granted they kept their affair private. After much discussion it was agreed that no one should know about them. It was the best possible way to protect her and he would proceed no further in their relationship until she agreed to this. It hurt that she couldn't tell her friends and family that she was with the love of her life. She would come to work with a knowing smile on her face and more than once her co-workers had caught her day dreaming with a little smirk on her face.

It was hard at times to be so secretive. If he was on a case she wouldn't see him for days. If the case was a 7 or above it would sometimes be weeks before she would see him again. Of course he would periodically send her a short text to let her know he was alive. Sometimes if they were separated for a long period of time she would get rather naughty texts in the middle of the night. Here she was a 30 year old woman, a leader in her field and acting like a teenager sexting while snuggled under her comforter. She would wake up the next morning with a blushing smile, for she knew as soon as he returned all those texts would become a reality. Sherlock was a passionate lover and very thorough. Oh, God was he ever thorough!

This wonderful pattern kept going for about a year and then things started to change. Shew knew there was a shift in Sherlock. He seemed to be more cautious. He started spending less and less time with her. Here it was the hurt she knew would come eventually. She could feel him pulling away. Every time she would ask him what was wrong he would deflect her with a kiss or change the subject. His text became less often and now two years into all this she felt like she was single again and the relationship was over for him. What had she done? She berated herself for she knew she had done absolutely nothing wrong. The fault lies entirely with him. Well, if he wanted out she would give it to him, but not before she gave him a piece of her mind. After several glasses of false courage she grabbed her coat and headed to Baker Street.

Once there she quietly let herself in with the key he had provided her over a year ago. She cautiously climbed the stairs and she could hear raised voices from the sitting room. She stopped on the landing as she realized John and Sherlock were arguing.

"Look you oversized man child, you can't play with people's emotions like this. You have to either get serious about her or let her go! You can't string that poor girl along any longer!" John said with a raised voice. I knew I was the subject of this conversation.

"John, I've told you before there is nothing going on between Molly and me. She is competent pathologist and nothing more." I knew he was playing the game we had played for two years now. No one could find out about us.

"Yes, well explain why I walked in two weeks ago to find her asleep in your arms?"

"She was having nightmares, she needed comforting!" Sherlock raised his voice in reply.

"Sherlock, she was naked, hell you both were naked! Now are you going to tell me what the hell you are doing to that poor girl?"

"Look John, you above all people know I will shop at nothing to get what I want. Over the last year, we have quietly been seeing each other. After that Christmas party I had to do something to keep her happy, so I gave her what she wanted. I've kept her happy all these months to keep my line to the morgue and lab open. I could care less for Molly Hooper, she is nothing more to me than an asset." I stood there and thought back over the last year. So most likely he had been using me after all. He was keeping me happy to get the things he needed. Now over the last few months he has been less and less there. let out a tiny sob and both men rushed to the door and peered down at me.

"Christ, Molly, listen…" John had started to say.

"Just leave her be John, it's best she knows where she stands now before she gets any more delusional about the sex we had." He stood there with the coldest eyes I had ever seen. So that was it. We had made it two years and this was the fall I had foreseen coming. I simply turned around and went back to my flat.

Shaking I feel into bed, covered myself and finally let my heart cry out its painful tears. After several hours I just feel asleep and dreamed of the man who was no more. The next morning I phoned Mike that I was sick. One can die from a broken heart, right? I just spent the day basically playing over the last two years of our life together. Surely there was some truth in there somewhere. It couldn't have all been lies, but then this is Sherlock we are talking about. He could charm the devil if he had half a mind.

Early evening I had found myself drifting off into sleep. Funny how crying all day can drain you and make you sleep better than any drug. Sometime in the early morning hours I felt a hand across my mouth and I screamed into it and proceed to thrash against the form on top of me.

"Molly! It's me, just stop!"

I went still as I realized it was Sherlock. He moved his hand and with every ounce remaining of my strength I pushed him off me and bolted out of bed.

"Get the hell out of my flat!" I screamed.

"No, we need to talk and dammit you are going to listen. After I'm done if you still want me to leave, I will." He stormed out of the room and went into the sitting room.

I sat down on my bed and allowed my heart beat to calm. Part of me didn't care what he had to say, but the other part of me that sill loved the idiot wanted very much to hear what he had to say. Defeated I grabbed my robe and followed after him into the sitting room. Sitting on the opposite end of the sofa I said not a word. He wanted to talk, so talk!

"Molly, over the last four months something has happened. There is someone out there playing a game with me. Whoever this person is he or she is more intelligent than the average criminal I come in contact with. I cannot lie that a part of me has loved the thrill of the chase, but the other part of me is very concerned. You see Molly; this person seems to know things about me that are not privy to the general public. They know about my drug use and have appeared to be very well versed on some of my earlier cases. They have also implied threats against John and Mrs. H." I looked at him and realized I hadn't breathed through his entire dialogue. I took a shaky breath and watched as he removed his coat and sat down again on the couch.

"Molly, with the personal information they have I knew it would only be a matter of time before they found out about you. Darling, I can't get you mixed up in this." He rested his arms on his thighs and let out a ragged breath.

"What, what about the conversation I overheard with John?" I had to ask, I had to know.

"I have suspected for several weeks now that the flat is either bugged with listening devices or cameras. Possibly even both. Mycroft's men have swept the place several times, but I couldn't risk that something had been overlooked. When John confronted me about what he had witnessed between us I had to convince him as well as any listening ears that you were nothing to me." Tears sprung forth in my eyes. He got up and came to sit on the coffee table in front of where I was sitting.

"Darling, I can't risk anyone knowing that I care for you." He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind me ear.

"You have never verbally told me how you feel?"

"Yes, darling I care for you and I'm afraid I care quite a bit for you." He said smiling at me. There was the Sherlock I knew and loved. I quietly transferred to his lap and kissed him through my tears.

"I love you Sherlock."

"Darling you have to listen to me. We will not be able to see each other again until I figure this one out. I can only see you professionally. Do you understand?"

"I, I don't like it, but yes I understand. Wait a minute. How do you know my place isn't bugged?" I gave an alarmed look around my flat.

He gave a slight grin, "well yes, umm, it's possible Mycroft's team swept your flat yesterday while you were at the store. Not to mention you have had a detail following you since the first day of our relationship."

"What? I never saw anything. Why? No one knows about us."

"Yes, well I couldn't risk anything happening to you. Ironic to think, now I must lose you to keep you safe. I have to admit my little mouse; it won't be easy staying away from you. After this is all over there will be time for us to find ourselves back to one another."

"Like I said, I don't like it, but I will do it."

"Well if you don't like it, you really won't like what I'm about to say. I need you to start dating."

"Sherlock! What the hell!"

"Look, I need for whoever is following me to see you dating other men. It's the only way they can be convinced that we are not together. Can you please do this for me Molly?"

"Oh, my God, I can't believe I'm about to agree to this. But understand this, I will not be bringing anyone home and to my bed. I draw the line at that!"

"As I hoped you would. Believe me when I say this will be no easy task for me. Just the thought of someone else's hands and lips on you makes me want to rip the poor guy apart. It will be hard to express not caring, when I care so much."

For a few minutes we just sat there holding onto one another. "Molly, I have to go. No matter what remember I do care for you."

I walked him to the door and we kissed one final time. "Goodbye Sherlock, remember I love you."

With that he walked out of my life for God only knows how long. I went about my life and did as he had asked. I went out with a couple of the doctors from Bart's as well as a few friends of friends. All the time my heart yearned for Sherlock. He would come into the lab periodically and I would help him out. There were no more lingering glances or stolen kisses when no one was looking. This was a very serious game and we were playing against an un-known enemy. Several months passed and then I met the new guy from IT, Jim. Little did we know this was the man behind it all and we were in for one hell of a wild ride.

After many weeks of new threats and taunts things finally came to a head. Sherlock had startled me in the morgue as I was about to close up for the night. My heart raced as he told me he was going to die. After asking him what he needed, he simply replied, "you."

I proceeded to lock the door and put my stuff down. We sat down on the floor together hidden away from any eyes that might peer in from the door windows. For the first time in months he wrapped me in his arms and kissed me. God how I had missed this man. We devised a plan and between me, him and Mycroft we had to make sure it went off without a hitch. Not only was Sherlock's life in danger, but so many others were at stake.

After the fall had occurred he spent two weeks hold up in my flat. He needed to recover and make plans for his exit out of London to hunt down Moriarty's remaining network. Days were full of research, phone calls with Mycroft and hours in his mind palace. The nights were not much better, he hardly slept and when he did crawl into my bed it was either to think or frantically make love to me. His mood swings ran so broad that I could barely keep up. On the last night he held me tight as we sat on the couch for a long time. We both knew what he had to do, but neither wanted to discuss it any more. What was done was done.

He sighed deeply because he dreaded the thing he knew he had to do. He knew before the night was over he would break her heart. "Molly, I need to tell you something." She pushed off up his chest and looked at him. "I don't want you to wait for me Molly." She started to make an objection but he stopped her.

"No! You will hear me out. I repeat I do not want you to wait for me. I may be gone for years. I'm not even sure if, if I will ever come back. I want you to promise me to move on when I leave tomorrow."

She moved out of his arms and stood up. She was shaking and tears were rolling down her face. "No, I won't promise you that. What we have between us can stand the test of time. I will wait for you Sherlock."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew without a doubt that he loved Molly, but he also knew the kindest thing he could do for her was push her away and make her move on. He couldn't allow her to hold onto a ghost, for that was what he had now become. He knew the only way she would move on is if he lied to her. He was a convincing actor and knew he would always hate himself for what he was about to do.

"Molly, how can you possibly be so naive? What we had was not a great love that we can hold onto. I know you said you loved me, but you know I'm not really capable of love. I have enjoyed our time together, but you must realize it was just a means to an end. We enjoyed each other's company, but that was it! We have no hold or claim on each other. . .You!"

She stood there frozen in her spot. She couldn't comprehend the words coming out of his mouth. "What, what if you do live through this and you come back. What then? Are we to just pretend these last two years never happened?"

"Yes, because regardless of the outcome of this current situation "we" will never exist after this night. Come on Molly, we had a bit of fun and I admit I felt some affection for you, but not enough to remain with you indefinitely. If I return, then it will be to Baker Street and not to you."

She shook with anger and hurt. "Get out!" She said in an alarmingly calm voice. "Don't ever come back to my flat. I hope I never see you again!"

With that final nail in the coffin, he stood, gathered his bag and coat and headed out the door into the night. Once the door closed he heard her fall to pieces and his heart died. From this day forward he would never allow himself to love another human being. The pain of heartbreak was far greater than he could have imagined. He wanted to rush back into that room, hold her, kiss her and tell her the words she wanted to hear. He had loved her for so long, but now that love was finished. He had for scene how this would play out and had the foresight to have Mycroft send a car around to the back alley. He walked down the stairs and into the waiting car. Once inside he said not a word. Mycroft gave him a sideways glance.

"Is it done?" Mycroft asked looking down at his mobile.

"Yes." Sherlock murmured.

"It's for the best brother mine."

"I want her to have the best protection you can give her Mycroft. If anything happens to her while I'm gone I will hold you personally responsible. Do I make myself clear?"

"I've already taken the necessary steps. She will be well looked after."

No more words were spoken as they drove through the streets of London heading to a remote airfield. He was saying goodbye to the city he loved so much, a city that had now turned against him. It was time to set the record straight and bring Moriarty's network to its knees.


	5. Chapter 5 The Betrayal

**Chapter 5**

**The Betrayal**

The first year that followed his fall was the hardest for Molly. She had lost weight; she rarely went out other than to work. Greg would check on her every few weeks and a few times he managed to get her out of her flat for dinner or a movie. He was very worried about her and John. Neither had seemed to fair to well after Sherlock's death. About a year and a half after Sherlock's death Greg introduced her to a friend's son. Tom was a good man, a little wet behind the ears, but a good man. He and Molly took to each other quickly. Greg kept an eye on them and observed that Tom was head over heels for Molly, but Molly seemed to be holding onto him like he was a life raft in the middle of a storm. After only 6 months Tom proposed and surprisingly she accepted.

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The day had been long and hard. My body ached and all I wanted to do was go home, slide into a nice bath and have a glass or two of wine. Tom had texted earlier to ask if he could come over, but I told him I wanted to call it an early night. It was funny how numb I felt inside. Would I ever truly recover from the love I had for Sherlock? I had told Tom there was someone from my past that I was still in love with, but I had never informed him who it was. He believed in time I would come to love him just as he loved me. I knew I was lonely and he filled a void in my life. God, I was such a horrible person. I was going to marry this man and I didn't even love him. If I was half a decent person I would let him go so he could truly find someone who loved him whole heartedly. But something kept me clinging to me and I knew it was loneliness and the fear of being alone for the rest of my life.

I walked into the locker room, swung open my door and caught a glimpse of a ghost in my small mirror. My breath caught and I whirled around to look directly into the eyes of Sherlock Holmes. We stood there for a few moments looking into each other's eyes. He had been gone two years and in that entire time I had not received a single damn word if he was alive or not. And now he just shows up out of the blue. A lot of emotions passed through my mind; shock, happiness, bitterness and finally anger.

"Molly," he started crossing towards me. I turned my back to him and proceeded to grab my coat and bag. I slammed the locker door shut, spun the lock and proceeded to the exit.

"Molly, please…" I stopped at the sound of his voice. It sounded raw and almost desperate. I couldn't do this. He had broken my heart, left me and now expected me to just be on good terms with him. Well to hell with him was all I could think. I pushed through the exit door and never looked back. He wanted me out of his life, so I will stay out of it.

Months went by. There were odd meetings at the lab. I maintained my professionalism, but I refused to enter into any conversation not related to a case. There were also nights he would show up at my apartment, but I refused to open the door. Once Tom had been there and he opened the door. Let's just say that meeting had just been awkward. After that Tom put two and two together and realized that Sherlock was the man from my past. After that Tom would be very upset to hear Sherlock had showed up again at my office or flat.

The wedding day of John and Mary had arrived. I was looking forward to seeing them happily married, but I was not looking forward to being in such close proximity to Sherlock Holmes. On top of that stress, Tom had been pushing for us to set a wedding date. By the time the Watson wedding day came around I had already made my mind up to break our engagement. I didn't love Tom and he deserved better.

The wedding had been beautiful; the reception had been more than interesting thanks to Sherlock's ability to attract danger and attention wherever he was. Later in the evening the party had started and dancing was the highlight of the evening.

Mid way through the evening the bride and groom had their first dance. As Sherlock played my heart ached. How in the hell could I still love him, but here I stood with my heart about to beat out of my chest. Tears began to slide down my face and I felt Tom's hand on my back. I looked up at him, took my ring off and placed it in his hand. He looked at me with such hurt, but all I could say was a whispered, "I'm so sorry."

With that I left the reception room, grabbed my coat and went outside to the garden. I had no clue how I was going to get home. I had come in Tom's car. I wiped the tears away and thought about returning to ask Greg for a ride home. Before returning to the hall to search for Greg, I stood quietly and just watched the first snow coming down and how beautiful the moon looked. It was then I felt a strong pair of arms around me. I started a little and spun around in said arms. Sherlock's eyes bore into me. I tried to back away but he held me tighter.

"Molly, we need to talk." He took my hand and led me back into the hotel. We found an empty conference room and sat down opposite each other. I sat back and crossed my arms as if that would protect me from any hurtful words or actions I felt were quickly approaching.

"I've been back for several months now, and I've wanted to speak with you. Molly, please hear me out. You have to believe that I never wanted to hurt you. What we had was very special to me and I apologize for hurting you so badly when I left. You have to understand I did all this to keep you safe."

I said not a word and just eyed him coolly. He was such a convincing actor I could no longer tell when he was sincere or lying. I looked around trying to avoid his heated stare.

"Molly, I need to tell you something. I, I love you. I always have."

I sat up further in my chair and almost said my first words, but he held his hand up.

"However, we will never be able to pick up where we left off. It is because I love you that we must go our separate directions. It's the only way I can ensure you are safe. Molly, we both know I'm not cut out for love and relationships. I'm selfish and lack all the emotions imperative for a lasting relationship. My track record the two years we were together was not great. We both know you would be better off without me."

"Are you finished?" I asked in a voice I was trying desperately to keep steady.

"Yes, I've said what I needed to say."

"Ok, Mr. Consulting Detective it's my turn now to lecture. How dare you make decisions for me? I'm a grown woman and I can bloody well make my own decisions and take care of myself. So you love me, but you can't be with me. What a load of shit Sherlock! We are not living in the 50's. I'm not the little woman you need to protect from the big bad boggy man. I know you better than you think. You are using this protection bull shit as an excuse. You are scared! In fact you are scared to death that you actually do possess a heart and love someone."

At this point he was looking at me with a mix of anger and sadness. He was about to argue with me. I stood up quickly and walked to the door.

"You know what Sherlock I'm no longer angry with you. But I do feel sorry for you. You have the capability to love greatly, but due to some idiotic reasoning you really believe that alone is safer. That is just, well very sad. So go ahead and try to keep your heart from loving. You will find the heart is not so easily tamed. You may be able to stick to this lunatic plan of yours for a while, but a day will come when you will want me and need me. The sad part is by that time I will have already moved on. So go back to Baker Street Sherlock Holmes. Hopefully that mind palace of yours will keep you warm on the cold days and keep you company as you grow older."

With that I walked out the door. God, it felt good to finally put him in his place. I felt alive for the first time in a while.

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Two years passed. Those two years were full of work, sadness and longing on each of their parts. When Mary was killed it was a turning point in all their lives. It took a long time for John to forgive Sherlock. She knew Sherlock would never forgive himself. It was during one of those hard weeks that he had sought her out.

Late one night there was a knock on her door. She opened the door shocked to find Sherlock at her door. He looked tired, he hadn't shaved in days and his coat was dirty. His hair was a mess of curls and his eyes were red.

"Sherlock, what are doing here?

"Molly, can I please come in?" His voice was week and full of emotion.

I stood back to allow him entrance. For a few minutes we did nothing more than sit in silence.

"I'm sorry to barge in on you like this Molly, but I didn't want to go home to an empty Baker Street tonight. Could I stay here, on your couch?"

"Sherlock, I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Please Molly, I, I don't trust myself tonight to go home alone."

"Are you in danger of using Sherlock?" The guilty look on his face answered my question.

"Fine, get a shower you look like hell. I will lay out some blankets and pillows for you." I got up and didn't give him time to reply. When I came back out to the living room I heard the shower turn on. I laid the blankets and pillow down. I sat down on the couch and took a deep breath. God, I still loved the lunatic. He looked like a scared little boy tonight, and of course that made me love him even more. It was during these rare time of humanness that made me want to take him in my arms and comfort him. When I heard the shower turn off I got up and walked into the kitchen. I made some tea and brought him a mug. I sat it in front of him and put my hand on his face. He looked up at me and for the first time in all the years I had known him, he cried. For a while I just sat there and he held onto my hand with a death grip. After a while I spoke.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head no. "Alright, if you need me I will be in my room. Good night Sherlock."

With that I got up and left him to his thoughts.

Later that night I awoke to find strong arms around me and the feel of his breath on my neck. He was sound asleep and I tried to move away from him. He made a slight sound and gripped me closer to him. We will see what the morning brings. I smiled and went back to sleep.

The next morning I was in the kitchen making bacon and eggs when he came to stand by me. "Thank you for last night Molly."

I looked up at him and just smiled. He grabbed a mug and poured himself a cup of coffee. A few minutes passed and I came to bring him his plate of food. He was sitting on the couch staring off into God only knows what. I laid the food in front of him on the coffee table. I observed him for a few moments. He looked so lost, so alone. My heart thawed and I couldn't keep myself from reaching down, cupping his face and kissing him.

At first he gave no response, but as I was about to pull away he jerked me down and before I knew it I was underneath him on the couch. God I had missed this. He was the only man who could make me feel this way. His kiss was hungry and desperate. His hands were on my body touching every available place he could reach. He broke the kiss and our eyes met.

"Sherlock, I never stopped loving you." His eyes went from want to coldness within seconds. He unwrapped himself from my arms, grabbed his coat and left.

I sat up on the couch a little flushed and slowly a smile crept over my face. He had faltered. He let himself give in. If he did it once he would do it again. I had no doubt that with time I could bring this stubborn, wonderful man around. I had been patient for 8 years, what were a few more months.

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Sherlock had lost control and he knew it. Molly's sweet lips were too much to resist. But his body wouldn't respond to his minds logic. . Instead of walking away he grabbed her and laid her out under him on that damn couch. Tongues fighting for dominance, hands roaming and moans filling her flat. Oh God how he wanted to take her right there. He had to stop this; he had to stay the course. Drawing on the last bit of strength he had, he pulled away from her and stumbled backwards. "No, we will not do this." He stepped back as she lay there sprawled out like a gift waiting to be unwrapped. With that he fled her apartment and ran down the sidewalk around the corner. There he hailed a cab and jumped in. So many emotions were running through him. He was still hurt over the loss of Mary which led to the subsequent loss of John. He hated being alone. All those years he had been fine with no one, but now he had had a taste of love and friendship and he was finding he didn't want to be without either one. He was shaking and he could feel every part of his body still reacting to her. He was hard and he was miserable. She was his pressure point and he would be damned if anyone would find out and use it against him. He tried everything to calm his body and mind. When he arrived at Baker Street he could only think of dashing up the stairs and into his room. He needed relief from the memory of Molly Hooper. When he entered the door he stood still. He knew someone else was in the flat, he could smell her. With that he walked into the sitting room and there set Irene Adler. She sat there as she had so many years ago, not a stich on. She smiled at him and he looked at her with confused eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, darling," She said slowly rising. "I was in town on business and I was hoping we could have lunch or dinner or maybe even both?"

He stood there and his eyes raked over her body. She could give him that release he so desperately needed. If he had any sense left in his head he would turn and head back to Molly. But that was no longer an option. In three strides he was in front of Irene. She seemed a little caught off guard but smiled up at him. She knew an aroused man when she saw one. "We can have lunch and dinner on one condition."

She raised an eyebrow and held her breath. This was a long time coming and she knew she would agree to anything to have him. "And what's that condition darling?"

"You, you let me call you Molly." He stood there painfully erect and heart aching. He needed rid of these feelings, he needed to feel alive again and she could give that to him without the strings attached that came with Molly.

"What ever gets you off my darling," with that he was upon her. He was a man possessed. She was eating it up and loving every minute of an undone Sherlock Holmes at her fingertips.

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Molly smiled to herself. She knew he was fighting "feelings." She knew with a few more tries he would breakdown and come back to her. She glanced around and saw that Sherlock had left his cell phone. She picked it up and decided on a plan. She would take it to him and maybe they could sit down and talk. If talking didn't work she would just snog the hell out of him until he came to his damn senses. She grabbed her coat and bag and head out to hail a cab. Once at Baker Street she used her key to open the door and headed upstairs. She noticed that the flat door was ajar and she could hear Sherlock moaning. At first she thought he might be hurt. She pushed the door open and walked into the worst nightmare of her life. There on the couch lay a half-naked Sherlock Holmes being ridden by a very naked Irene Adler. All of her world crashed down. All those years of wanting, waiting and being so close where gone. His phone slipped out of her hands and crashed on the floor. With that sound both of the occupants of the couch stopped and looked up. The woman smiled a sensual smile, but Sherlock went into pure panic mode. "Mol, Molly!"

Molly closed her eyes and shivered. It took every bit of her self control to not scream. She simply turned around and walked out of the room and out of Sherlock Holmes life for good.

Once back inside a cab her phone rang. She looked down and ignored the call. Again it rang; again she sent it to voicemail. The third time it rang; she went into her settings and blocked the number for text and phone calls. She knew if she went home he would show up there within minutes. Her closest friend was out of town visiting her parents. She could either call John or Greg. She opted for Greg. She didn't feel she could trust John to be discreet. She told the cabbie to change directions for NSY. She sat in the lobby of NSY for about an hour. She just sat there staring at the marble flooring. She texted Greg and asked if he could meet her in the lobby. Five minutes later he spotted her and he knew something was wrong.

"Molly, what's wrong." He asked crouching down in front of her.

"I had nowhere else to go. Greg I'm in trouble and I need your help."

"Come on" he helped her up and into the elevator and then headed to his office. He shut the door and turned the blinds so no one could see in. "What happened Molly?"

She recounted the entire story and never shed a tear. It was odd. She was a crier, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to cry any more over Sherlock Holmes. "Molly, you can crash at my place until you feel like you can deal with all this. I have a guest room and it's all yours."

She smiled and took out her phone. She saw 15 missed calls and 10 texts from John. No doubt he had run straight to John and was now using his phone. She pushed the notifications aside and dialed her boss. She explained that she had had a family emergency and needed a week off. She never took time off so Mike was more than happy to cover for her. When she hung up she noticed two more calls from John's number.

"Thank you Greg. Do, do you think we could head over their now? I'm afraid you will be Sherlock's next stop and I will not deal with that arsehole today." Greg gave her a sympatric looks, grabbed his coat and lead her out.

Within the hour she was safe in his home and lying in the middle of the guest room bed. She needed time to think. She needed to plan her departure from London and life of Sherlock Holmes.

Four days later Greg came home to find Molly sitting at the table staring at a glass of water. He pulled up a chair next to her and placed his hand on top of hers. She glanced up at him and gave a small smile. He looked tired.

"Bad day?" She asked.

"You could say that. Sherlock Holmes has gone off the damn deep end." He said running a hand through his gray hair. She looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Molly, I know what he's done and I have no sympathy for the devil but damn he is unraveling fast. He has been driving John crazy trying to figure out where the hell you went to. Don't worry I haven't told a soul you are here. He did confront me about you coming to see me in my office. I guess one of the guys in the office mentioned seeing you. I just told him I took you for coffee, discussed the issue and then you left. Molly you are going to have to face him sometime."

"Maybe not," she said just above a whisper. "Can, can you please take me somewhere tomorrow? "

"Sure, I can take the morning off. Where do you need to go?"

"The Diogenes Club."


	6. Chapter 6 Moving On

**Chapter 6**

**Moving On**

The next morning she found herself sitting directly across from Mycroft Holmes. "And to what do I owe this visit to, Dr. Hooper?"

She eyed him for a minute and with a new found frankness she lined him up in her sites.

"Cut the bullshit Mycroft. You know very well what's happened."

"Yes, I'm afraid I have been made privy to the matter. Are you here for me to intercede between the two of you? I believe my brother has been moving heaven and earth to find you Miss… Dr. Hooper."

"No, I have no intention of ever laying eyes on Sherlock ever again."

"Well, then I must ask again why do you come to me?"

"I'm here to collect a debt Mycroft." She eyed him with a coolness he had never seen before from the doctor. He was a little caught off guard and shifted in his seat a little.

"I see. How may I be of service?"

"I need three things from you."

"You said a debt, not debts."

She rolled her eyes and stood up. Looking down at him she placed her hands on his desk and leaned in.

"One, I helped your brother fake his death. I risked my reputation and job. Two, I hid him and nursed him back to health. Three, I kept my mouth shut and never told a soul. Three debts Mycroft!"

He cleared his throat. He was most definitely not used to this side of Molly Hooper. "What do you require my assistance with?"

"Monday I will be turning in my resignation to Bart's. I'm going to ask Mike to keep it quiet and just say they are hiring an additional pathologist. He owes me that much. After my two weeks' notice is up I will be leaving England for good."

One: I need you to get Sherlock out of England for at least the next two weeks and not be told what is happening.

Two: I need one of your teams to quickly pack up and clear out my flat. I will provide the address in which to forward my things to.

Three: After I have left you will in no way help Sherlock find me.

Mycroft set there for a few moments rolling his pen around in his fingers. " Dr. Hooper, Molly I would like to apologize for the idiot I call my brother. Is there no way you can work this out with him. I fear if you leave it will push him over the edge into his addictions."

"Not my problem any longer Mycroft." She said it with such dead eyes and cold expression that Mycroft almost flinched.

"I see," he pondered the pen again in his hands. "I will be happy to meet your terms and will be in touch with you shortly."

"Thank you Mycroft." She picked up her bag and started towards the door.

"Molly," she turned to look at him. "I'm sorry my brother never valued you for the truly wonderful woman you are. He, he doesn't deserve you. Good luck to you wherever your new road leads you."

She gave a slight smile, "Thank you. Good bye Mycroft." With that she walked out of the door.

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"MOLLY!" John almost yelled as he let her in the door. "Oh my God where have you been?"

"Hi John." He motioned for her to sit, but she preferred to stand. "I'm sorry to just drop in unannounced like this."

"No, no it's fine. I'm just glad to see you are ok. Look I'm sor…"

She cut him off by holding up her hand. "Look John, I can't stay long." She looked down at her watch. "What little time I have I don't want to spend talking about Sherlock."

He gave her a peculiar look. "John I wanted to say thank you for being such a good friend. You will never know how much I have admired you. You are a good man."

"Well, thank you Molly. Wait, why does this sound like a goodbye?"

"Because John, this is me saying good bye. I didn't want to leave without saying good bye to you and Rosie." She looked down at the little girl quietly playing with her dolls on the rug.

"Where are you going? How long will you be gone?"

She gave him a slight smile, "I'm leaving London for good John. I'm moving on with my life. Where, well we both know I can't tell you that John. You are a most loyal friend to Sherlock and I know you would break down and tell him. It's time I move on from under the shadow and destruction known as Sherlock Holmes."

"Wait a minute. Can't we sit down and talk about this. Yes, I know he has been an absolute jerk, but what did he do to make you turn like this?"

"He, he didn't tell you?" She asked with shocked eyes.

"No, all I could get out of him was that he had royally fucked up and when he locates you he is going to make it right. I swear Molly; I've never seen him like this. Do you know that idiot is carrying around a diamond ring just waiting for the moment he runs into you?"

She was a little taken back, but she knew it was over and that she could no longer afford to love him. He had successfully killed what love she had left for him.

"I'm sorry John, but there is no going back and I have a plane to catch in the next few hours."

" . ? You two where in a good place, I could see he was coming around and that it was just a matter of time before he came to his senses. Again what did he do?" He asked again.

"I had come to return his phone to him and try to sit down and talk some sense into him. When I arrived at Baker Street I found him fucking Irene Adler on the sitting room couch."

John stood there almost speechless. "I'll kill him! I will absolutely kill him this time!"

"No John, you will not. You and I both know you will help him get through this. I know he has dark demons to face, but I can no longer be a part of this crazy world called Sherlock Holmes. Listen, I have to go. Take care of yourself." She bent down and picked Rosie up and gave her a hug and a kiss. She handed the girl back to John and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "Good bye John. I hope life is good to you and Rosie."

"Good, good-bye Molly. Be safe wherever you are going."

With that she walked out the door and back into the car waiting for her. John stood there mostly from shock. He took Rosie upstairs to her room and put her down for a nap. Once she was asleep, he slipped downstairs and took out his phone. One ring was all it took for Sherlock to pick up.

"John, I just arrived back. I swear Mycroft sent me on a damn wild goose chase. When I see him I will most likely kill him. John, tell me have you heard from her?"

"Yes, Sherlock. You are an absolute areshole and I'm glad she is leaving you for good. Do us both a favor, don't bother coming around me for a few days. I'm not sure what I would do if I were to see you right now." With that he hung up before Sherlock could get another word out.

Thirty minutes later there was a knock at the door. John opened it angered to find a distressed and disheveled Sherlock on his door step. "Please John; just tell me where she went."

With that John raised back and landed a right cross to the face of one Sherlock Holmes. Shaking his hand, he looked down at the man slumped on his doorstep. "She's gone Sherlock! You pushed her to far this time. She's leaving England tonight for good. Do you realize you let the best thing that ever happened to you slip right through your fingers? You've lost her Sherlock. There is no coming back from this." With that he slammed the door shut and locked it.

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"Ah brother mine, to what do I owe this honor?" Mycroft asked laying aside his paper.

"Molly, I want to know where she is. I realize now you had something to do with all this. That was some planed goose chase you sent me on. Her extraction from Bart's and England were far too clean for you not to have been involved somehow. Now, brother you are going to tell me where she is right now!" Sherlock said slamming his hand on Mycroft's desk.

"Sherlock, it's time to grow up!" Sherlock turned in a huff and actually growled at his brother. "You have no one to blame for her leaving except yourself. You completely destroyed that girl and if you think I'm going to help you destroy what's left of her you are mistaken. Now . .Once!"

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Once on the plane she took out her phone to check her emails. There were numerous emails from him. But one caught her eye. It had been sent less than an hour ago.

_My Molly,_

_I know I have hurt you. Please know that I am truly sorry. Please, don't leave England. Please give me one chance to talk to you. I know I was a coward by denying my feelings for you. I ran and ran into the arms of someone just for the sake of release and to avoid the feelings I have for you. I know it doesn't excuse it, but please don't leave. If you see fit to give me another chance I will find a way to make up the last 8 years of our lives together. _

_I love you Molly Hooper. Please come back to me._

_Sherlock_

A month ago she would have booked the next flight back to London and falling into his arms. But that Molly was no longer around. This new Molly had been toughened up by the life of Sherlock Holmes. She no longer felt like the same Molly who blindly trusted and loved him. He had destroyed every bit of love and patience she had left for him. She clicked the reply button and wrote the following…

_Sherlock,_

_It's too late. I never want to see you again. Please leave me alone and allow me to get on with my life._

_MH_

She didn't even hesitate to click the send button. She then blocked his email address and never looked back.

SHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMH

When the reply dinged his phone he quickly pulled up email response from Molly. When he read the three lines, he threw his phone against the wall and proceeded to destroy the sitting room in his flat. Grabbing the dagger off the mantle he walked towards the couch and proceeded to tear it to pieces. Mrs. Hudson had come up to make sure someone wasn't killing him. When she saw the state of him and the flat she ran downstairs and called John. When John arrived, he quickly handed off Rosie to Mrs. Hudson and dashed upstairs. He went into the sitting room and found Sherlock on the floor in front of the destroyed couch. He lay there lifeless with a needle sticking out of his arm. John screamed for Mrs. Hudson to call an ambulance and Mycroft.

"HAT DETECTIVE ATTEMPTS SUICIDE" it was all over the news when Molly arrived in NYC for her layover to Bethesda. She stopped in front of the bar TV and began to shake. She asked if the man behind the counter could turn it up a little. He graciously agreed.

_ "It's been reported that the Hat detective, Sherlock Holmes attempted suicide last night at his Baker Street lodgings. Our sources tell us that the detective was upset over a relationship issue and subsequent break up. He is currently at Saint Bartholomew Hospital in the ICU Unit. The detective's parents, brother and partner Dr. Watson have a bed side visual going. We will be sure to bring you any updates as this story unfolds."_

She sat there with tears streaming down her eyes. Her heart ached for him, but she could no longer allow him to pull her back into his toxic life. She had left and she would stay gone for good. When she finally arrived at her hotel later that evening she turned her phone back on. Her phone had blown up with messages from John, Greg and Mycroft. All of them pretty much along the same line. Have you seen the news? Can you please come back to him? She replied the same to all of them.

"While I'm saddened by the actions Sherlock has taken, I cannot return to his world. I truly hope he seeks out the help he so desperately needs."

A few days later Sherlock was finally awake and out of ICU. John set next to him reading the paper and playing with his phone.

"Does she know?" Sherlock asked not looking at John.

"Yes, Sherlock she knows."

"Did she say anything?"

"Yes, it made her sad to hear what you had done, but she wouldn't be returning. She hopes you will seek the help you need."

"I've lost the one woman I've ever loved. John, I've really lost her for good haven't I?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. If, if you really love her as much as you say you do you need to let her move on. And you need to move on as well. Honor her and the love she had for you by improving yourself and being the man she always saw in you."

"I, I honestly don't think I want to live in a world without her. I have to get her back. I cannot accept that she is gone for good."

"Sherlock, you can't do this. It isn't healthy. She is gone and will not be coming back. She made her feelings pretty clear on the subject."

"You don't understand John. I have to keep hope, if I not, I don't want to continue being Sherlock Holmes."


	7. Chapter 7, A New Love

**Chapter 7**

**A New Love**

Molly was excited and nervous about starting her new job. She had heard a lot about the Bethesda Naval hospital and was looking forward to lab work and research. It had always been a dream of hers to be the lead for a research lab. She would miss the morgue, but this was the starting of a new life.

Her first day was full of HR visits, introductions, familiarizing herself to the lab and trying to figure out the mazes of hallways. She arrived home late that afternoon and flung herself onto the couch. She smiled as she recounted her day. It was a very good day and for the first time in years she felt excited about waking up the next day. She decided to venture out and find a place to eat. She found a little Mexican place around the corner from her flat. She eyed the menu and decided on a plate. She took her phone out and skimmed through her emails. She saw none from Sherlock, and for once she was relieved. She had hoped he was honoring her wishes and leaving her alone for once. She then spotted the email from John. She hesitated on opening it, but the subject line was too intriguing to ignore. It simply read "Heads Up."

_Hi Molly,_

_I hope you are doing well in your new life. Listen I wanted to give you an update on Sherlock. He is out of the hospital, but has entered rehab. Believe it or not he requested to go. He didn't have to be forced by me or Mycroft. He even asked for extra time as to sort himself out for good. _

_I do want to warn you. He is still holding out hope of finding you and making things right. He has made it clear that when he is finished with re-hab his soul purpose will be to find you. Molly, he loves you and he is going to do everything within his power to locate you. _

_Take care,_

_John_

Molly just closed her eyes and took a long steady breath. He would be in rehab for at least three months. She hoped he would get his head right and for once get a handle on his demons. But she also knew those precious months would give her time to barricade her heart. She knew he would eventually find her, but by the time he found her she had hoped to be a stronger and better version of Molly, who doesn't fall for any of his bullshit. She became aware of someone watching her. I guess it was all the years of being with Sherlock that made her more sensitive to that feeling. She looked up to see a good looking man three tables over smile at her and then look back down at his plate. A few times she caught him looking. She tried her best to ignore it and just kept herself occupied by eating and checking things on her phone.

"Excuse me," she looked up to find the handsome stranger standing at her table. She looked into the greenest eyes she had ever seen. "Sorry, to disturb your meal. I saw you today at the hospital. You're new aren't you?"

I held out my hand, "Yes, names Hooper, Molly."

"Hi Molly, I'm Tony, Tony Evans." When his hand took mine I felt a spark that I hadn't felt with another human being since Sherlock. We kind of just stared at each other for a few seconds. He was tall and very well built and his sandy blonde hair was cut high and tight. He was a little older than me and a bit withered from the sun, but gosh his smile could melt hearts no doubt about it.

"Well, I don't want to keep you from your dinner. I guess I will see you around Molly. Welcome to Maryland."

With that he turned and headed out the door. For the first time in years Molly went home that night and dreamed about someone other than Sherlock Holmes.

Several months later Molly was busy in the lab. She hummed to herself as she was excited to get a start on the day. The director of her wing came by to say good morning and let her know that there would be a brass inspection today.

"Brass Inspection?" She asked curiously.

"Oh, sorry," Devon gave a small laugh. "We have DC officials and top military brass coming by for a tour. They help us get the funding we need so we try to make them happy and treat them like VIP's. We have our top guy on it. He knows this place like the back of his hand and he could talk anyone into anything." He smiled, took a sip of his coffee and headed out the door.

Several hours passed and Molly was in her element. She couldn't remember the last time she was this happy. She felt needed and respected. Something she hadn't felt for years back at Bart's. Here she didn't have the shadow of Sherlock Holmes hanging over her head and reputation. There was a time when she couldn't imagine not thinking about Sherlock every hour. Today she had gone almost half the day without even thinking about him. The wounds were healing and she was growing stronger and more confident every day. Her thoughts were interrupted by a group of people stumbling into her lab. She turned and assumed this must be the brass Devon had warned her about. She gave a slight smile to the group and then heard a familiar voice from the back making his way to the front of the group. "This ladies and gentlemen is one of our premier research labs. Our people research things such as cancer, plasma science and many more things. This fine group of scientist work hard to help our military thrive as well as the people of our nation." The man speaking was in military dress; he then turned and smiled at Molly. It was Tony Evans from a few months back at the restaurant. She knew she was blushing and she just smiled back at him. "This ladies and gentlemen is Dr. Molly Hooper. She is a specialist in pathology and gene research. We were lucky enough to steal her away from across the pond."

She watched periodically as he showed them around the lab answering questions from what was this item used for to how much longer until lunch.

"Ok Molly, get it together. You are a professional, not a school girl!" she said to herself. She dared to steal another glimpse at Tony as he started herding the group out of the lab doors. Sherlock Holmes was a gorgeous creature, that there was never any doubt about, but damn Tony Evans looked good enough to eat in his military dress uniform. She rolled her eyes, took a deep breath and turned back to her microscope. She heard Tony tell the group, "Excuse me a moment." Before she knew it he was standing next to her. She looked up into those green eyes and held her breath.

"Dinner?" He said looking away from her and smiling at the anxious group outside the lab windows.

"Ex, excuse me?"

"Will you have dinner with me tonight?"

"Yes," she could barely whisper, because she was a little in shock.

"Good, text me your address," he said placing a business card down on her lab table. He had written out his cell number on it previously. So he had been planning on this before he came in.

"I'll pick you up at 19:00 hours" with that he marched through the doors and ushered the group onto their next port of call.

Molly sat back and shook her head. It had taken Sherlock 6 years to make a move on he, it had taken Tony less than three months.

"I think I'm going to like America after all" she murmured to herself.

An hour later a couple of her colleagues asked her to join them for lunch. She was really starting to fit in and she loved it. They sat at the hospital café and talked about experiments, families, and everything else under the sun.

"Hey Molly, you're from England. What's up with this guy Sherlock Holmes?" Cliff her research assistant asked.

Molly almost spit her tea out. "What, what do you mean?"

"Well, he's apparently some kind of celebrity over there and now he's getting notice on CNN and FOX news channels. Is he as crazy as they say he is?"

You have no idea was the first thing that shot through her head. "Well, he is very, very smart. He's the smartest person I know."

"Hang on," several of them started at the same time. "Hang on Molly, you know this guy?"

"Well, I came from a pathology department in London. You could say our paths have crossed more than once." She said quietly while sipping on her tea. Paths crossed indeed. You've also kissed him and slept with him on numerous occasions. Oh and he also claims you're the love of his life.

"Well, I hope they find the poor bastard soon, doesn't sound like he's fairing to well."

"Why, what do you mean?" Molly asked putting her tea cup down.

"Well, he's gone AWOL. He was in that second rehab facility and just vanished a few days ago. No one knows where the hell he went. Really Molly, this is a big story on the news. Don't you watch TV?"

"SHIT, shit, shit" I screamed in my mind. Knowing he was in rehab had bought her some peace of mind knowing she would have some time to toughen herself up and fortify her defenses. She excused herself and slowly walked back to the lab. She knew he went "AWOL" for one of two reasons, either he went underground to get high again, or he was coming for her. Both thoughts broke her heart.

Later that evening as she was getting ready for her dinner date with Tony, she couldn't help but be upset. After hearing about Sherlock, she had found herself looking over her shoulder the rest of the day. Damn, that man. Why couldn't she just move on from him? She had finished dressing and getting ready. She walked into her kitchen to get a glass of water and try to calm her nerves while she waited for Tony to arrive. Just then there was a knock on the door. "God please let this be Tony; I can't handle Sherlock right now."

Checking the security camera screen she saw a good looking Tony Evans standing there. He smiled into the screen and she opened the door. "Doc, that's quite a bit of security you got outside there," he said as he stepped into her doorway.

"Yep, with my passed life, I have to be cautious."

"Hmm, mysterious." He moved a step closer and smiled "I like mysterious."

"Um, shall we?" I said turning to grab my wrap and purse.

As I closed the door and locked it, he grabbed my hand and led me to his car. When she caught sight of his car she gasped. Oh, God he was driving a vintage Mustang. Ok, could this guy get any more perfect? As he opened the door for me he commented, "Doc, you look beautiful tonight."

"Thank you," was all I could manage as he closed the door.

"Your car is beautiful Tony."

He slid in behind the driver's seat and revved up the engine. "Thanks, Doc. It was my dad's; I could never bring myself to part with it. He bought it brand new in 67' and between the two of us we have kept her running."

We arrived at a fine restaurant called La Mio's. We walked in and I felt a little out of my element. I wasn't use to something as fine as this. None of my dates had either cared enough or were well enough off to take me to such a place. I guess dating an older guy with a stable career had its perks after all. Not that with the way he looked was he anywhere ready for old man status. The entire evening was wonderful. I found it very easy to talk to Tony. He was like an open book and he was interested in my life and what I had to say. This was a refreshing change. Unfortunately several times during the evening I felt like I was being watched. I really had to get a handle on my nerves. It had been six months since I had left England and I needed to stop Sherlock Holmes from having a psychological hold on me. At one point I excused myself from the table and located the ladies room. I stood in front of the mirror for several minutes. I calmed my nerves and steadied my breathing. "Get a grip Molly" I murmured to myself. It was a mix of not knowing when or if Sherlock would pop up and the fact that Tony Evans was too damn sexy for her own good. She deserved a good man like that. She had asked about him with several co-workers. No one had a bad word to say about him. He had been in the military for 15 plus years, he had been stationed at the hospital for the last four years and he was a widower. Everyone seemed to like and respect him.

She returned to the table and smiled at Tony. "Hope you don't mind but I ordered coffee and dessert?" He said

"Oh, wonderful!" I smiled at him. In the distance she heard the soft music over the speakers. It had been playing slow, light love songs all night but now you could hear the sad notes of a single violin. She froze as she listened to the beautiful music. She closed her eyes and could see his face as he played to her during her brief time at Baker Street. She would watch his beautiful fingers effortlessly find the notes and…

"You ok Doc?" She opened her eyes to Tony staring at her with concerned eyes.

"Yes, yes I just really love this music."

"Listen, tomorrow is Saturday. How about we make a day of it and I show you Maryland?

"Ok, sounds great."

More time passed and much more conversation. Dessert and lots of coffee were consumed. She found herself smiling and laughing at some of his past military exploits and travels abroad. He really is a good man she thought. If anyone was going to give Sherlock a run for his money in her heart it was going to be Tony.

When it was time to leave she excused herself one last time for the ladies room. As she was walking down the secluded hallway she found herself with a hand over her mouth and being drug into what appeared to be a manager's office. She was spun around and pressed up against the door. She opened her eyes and looked into the burning eyes of one Sherlock Holmes. "Molly," he breathed as he removed his hand from her mouth.

She laid both hands on his chest and with all her might she pushed him away from her.

"Why am I not surprised. Molly finally tries to move on with her life and you show up. Damn you Sherlock Holmes!"

"Molly, please…" she blinked in shock at the sound of his voice. It sounded heart wrenching. He stepped closer to her, almost scared she would vanish into thin air if he got to close.

She leaned her head back with a thud on the door. He still had a hold on her after all the hell he had put her through. Slowly the tears fell down her face. "What do you want from me Sherlock? I have nothing left to give you. You destroyed my trust and my heart. Please leave me alone."

"I, I can't Molly." He leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers. "You're the air I breathe, don't you understand? I love you."

Her eyes flew open when his lips crashed down on hers. She could feel his need and he was consuming her. She was about to give in; open her mouth and heart to him. Then she remembered Irene and that awful day at Baker Street. In the span of a few seconds she saw all the times he had broken her trust and used her. NO! She wouldn't go down this road again.

She pushed him away and touched her fingertips to her burning lips. "No, you don't get to come sweeping in and act like everything is different. You made a choice months ago on what I was in your life. I'm done waiting for you to figure out if you can handle your "feelings" towards me. I deserve better than what you put me through. You don't ever get to kiss and touch me again." She turned towards the door and took a deep breath. "I meant what I said in that final email. I don't ever want to see you again."

She saw two large hands on either side of her on the door. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "and I meant what I said. I love you and I will never stop loving you. You are mine Molly, you always will be. He will never love you the way I do."

"Molly?" She caught her breath when she heard Tony's voice in the hallway. She could feel Sherlock tense and drop his hands. She turned her head to look into his eyes. They were full of rage, anger and jealousy.

"Good bye Sherlock," with that she opened the door and appeared in the hallway.

"Hey Doc, what's wrong?" He could see her flushed face and knew she was upset.

"Tony, can you please take me home? We can talk in the car ok?"

With that he led her out of the restaurant and to the car. The car ride home was awkward to say the least. "Tony, I'm sorry. You have been wonderful and I have enjoyed myself tonight."

He didn't take his eyes off the road, "Someone upset you. Whoever it was did a damn good job of it."

"Yes, someone from my past surprised me and well let's just say he has always known how to push my buttons."

They didn't say another word the rest of the way home. He walked her to her door and kissed her cheek goodnight.

That night as she lay in bed she cried. For the first time in 7 months she cried like a baby. She cried for the love that couldn't and wouldn't be with Sherlock. You can't build a relationship or life with someone who turns on a dime and whom you cannot trust. She cried because she missed London. She cried because she assumed that Sherlock would mess things up with Tony. She cried because life was so unfair sometimes and she just wanted to be free of the heartache that was Sherlock Holmes.

Molly was awoken the next morning with knocking on her door. She pulled herself out of bed and stumbled to the door. She looked into the monitor and saw Tony standing there. Bloody Hell! She looked into the hallway mirror and cringed. She had swollen eyes from crying and messed up hair. Oh well, might as well scare him off now. She turned the alarm off and opened the door. She expected a disgusted look on his face, but he smiled brightly and simply said "morning Doc, ready for some sightseeing?"

"Um, Tony I thought after last night you would have just decided it wasn't worth it."

"Hardly Doc, now come on. Get yourself pulled together and let's go."

"Tony, we need to talk."

"Sure," he came in and set down on her couch.

"Look, I'm going to be honest with you and upfront. I had an altercation last night with a man from my past. He is a stubborn, arrogant, selfish prick. We parted months ago in London, but he just won't let things lie."

"Do you still love him?"

She was a little taken back with the question. "I was in love with this man for 8 years, he put me through hell, but in some insane way part of me will never stop loving him. But, part of me needs to move on. It's just I know this man will make it almost impossible."

"You're talking about Sherlock Holmes aren't you?"

"What," she blinked in shock, "how did you know?"

"Look Molly, I'm upper ranking brass at the military hospital you have been employed at. Trust me I've read your file because it was required. When you work at this level of security clearance your file contains more than your resume. Now let's not beat around the bush. Do you still want a future with him or do you want to move on?"

She sat there for several minutes. She knew her answer had to be, "move on."

"I can understand where you are coming from. No, don't look at me like that. Molly, l loved my wife Ella very much. When she died I thought my heart would stop beating. But slowly I made it day by day. And then I saw you and well, you made me smile. So I tell you what, why don't we both help each other move on? Sound good?"

She smiled at him and nodded her head yes. "Good, now get in that bedroom and pull yourself together. We have some exploring to do Doc."

She jumped up with a giggle and took off to the bedroom. Thirty mins later she emerged showered, dressed in jeans and a white t shirt and black blazer. She had put on little make up opting for a more natural look. He smiled and opened the front door. She stepped out, locked the door and turned around. He was inches from her and her heart stopped for a beat. "Doc, you look beautiful." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. It was a chaste kiss, but something ignited in her and she felt herself blush. He grabbed her hand and led her to the car. Off they went for a day of adventures.

Around the opposite corner a tall, dark figure watched the scene unfold. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe. The rage and jealously coursing through his body was almost uncontrollable. He moved off and decided it was time for another fix, anything to take this pain away. Hours later he sat in a rundown hotel room staring at the syringe laying on the nightstand. For more than two hours he had raged in his room. He would start to pick it up, just needing that pain to be dulled. Then when he would reach for it he could hear John's words from months ago. "Honor her love by becoming the man she knew you could be."

In the middle of the night he made his decision. He reached out and punched some numbers on the phone.

"This better be bloody important to wake me up at this hour!" he heard the voice on the other line. He held his breath and almost hung up.

"Sherlock? Sherlock is that you? Talk to me for Christ sakes."

"John, John I don't want to use what's in front of me. I want Molly and if I do this I will never be able to get her back. Please help me." His voice trembled.

"Sherlock, tell me where you are. Tell me and Mycroft and I will be there as soon as we can."

He hesitated for a moment and then with a defeated voice he said, "Roadside Inn, Bethesda Maryland. Room 8"

He hung up, pulled his coat around him and curled up on the bed. He laid there and waited for a miracle.


	8. Chapter 8, I Will Never Hurt You Again

**Chapter 8**

**I Will Never Hurt You Again**

Months went by and there had been no sign of Sherlock. She had gotten a short email from John saying Sherlock had called and asked to be taken back to rehab. She had to give him credit for trying and hoped that he would defeat his demons once and for all. More months went by and she stopped looking over her shoulder. She started living her life with Tony. Things progressed quickly between them. Two months after their first adventure date, he took her away for the weekend and after much heavy snogging their relationship was consummated. A month later she moved into his beautiful townhouse. Everyone at the hospital considered them "The couple of the hour". The Colonel and the Doctor where the envy of almost every couple.

One day her and her team were in the middle of a debate over some lab results that had come back. She was standing with her back to the doors and talking to them about the results. One by one everyone stopped talking. She stood still for a moment and realized all of their eyes had grown the size of saucers. She turned around to find Sherlock Holmes standing there. Oh God, he looked good. He looked healthy. He had on his favorite black suite and that damned purple shirt he knew she had a weakness for. She remembered wearing said shirt and nothing else as he took her on the kitchen table at Baker Street. She shook her head and he smiled a knowing smile. Damn, she knew he could read her mind.

"Molly," his dangerously sexy baritone voice echoed through the lab. He stepped closer until he was right in front of her. He looked down at her and there was a dangerous smoldering look in his eyes. "Hello, little mouse."

"Sherlock," she acknowledged him with a whisper.

"How, how are you?" As if unaware of the five other people in the room with mouths agape he reached out and used his fingers to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. He let his hand linger for a moment on her cheek. Someone moved behind her and it broke the spell she was under. She cleared her throat and stepped back.

"Well, I'm well. You look better."

"Lunch?" He asked.

"Um, I can't, already have plans."

"Ah, Colonel Evans, I see. Can we talk somewhere?"

She walked around him and headed for the door. "We can talk in my office."

As they walked away she heard Cliff in the back ground, "Crossed paths a few times my ass!"

She walked into her office and sat behind her desk. She moved aside some papers and then looked up at him. He sat down in front of her and never took his eyes off of her. "Why are you here Sherlock?"

"I was in New York City for a case. Graham is here too. He is down in the café."

"Graham? Oh, you mean Greg? Oh I would love to see him."

"Yes, he would like to see you as well. Molly, I wanted to apologize again for everything that happened."

"Please, let's just forgive each other and move on. I want off this merry-go-round." She sighed as she sat back in her chair.

"Yes, I understand. I was wondering if we could all have dinner together. Lestrade and I return to London in 48 hours."

"Sorry, I can't. I have to finish clearing out my flat…"

"You're moving?"

"I, um I've moved in with Tony."

"Every Friday I swing by my old place and clear a few more things out. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Can't or won't?" He bantered back at me

"Does it matter now?"

"Hey Beautiful," Tony came through the office door and stopped still to size up the man known as Sherlock Holmes.

Molly stood up and introduced them to one another. She could see both sizing the other. She knew she needed to defuse the situation and quickly. "Hey, I want to go say hi to Gregg. Tony, I really want you to meet him."

She grabbed Tony's hand and out they went. Sherlock followed behind the entire time thinking of the many ways he could dispose of the body of a certain colonel in the US Army.

SHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMH

Molly was knees deep in boxes and newspapers. She had piles to store, piles to give away and piles to put in her car later. She had a few glasses of wine already down and had her music going. A knock at the door came and she wondered who it could be. Tony was on duty with some brass from DC until late tonight. She walked over to the screen and cursed when she saw Sherlock standing there.

Opening the door, she simply asked, "What?"

"Hello to you too," he said basically forcing his way in.

She closed the door and locked it. He tossed his Belstaff and scarf on the couch. She sighed and headed into the kitchen and poured herself another glass of wine. "You want some?"

"No, thank you." He said while looking around at her boxed up apartment.

"Sherlock, what's going on?"

"I, I wanted to make peace with you and I have something I need to give you. Can we sit and talk for a while. There is a lot left to be said between us."

She hesitated for a moment and then came and set down next to him on the couch. He grabbed his coat and took a small velvet box out off one of the pockets. She gasped as he handed it to her. She sat her wine glass down and opened the box to the most beautiful diamond ring she had ever seen. "Sherlock, what, I can't take this. You know I'm with Tony."

"I know, but I need you to keep it for me. Molly, you are the only one I will ever love. You are the only woman I will ever want to have a life with. I know now that will never happen. I know you have moved on and he is a very lucky man. I, I just want you to have it. Maybe down the road you will look at it and remember the idiot consulting detective who loved and… lost you." The last two words were a whisper.

She stood up and snapped the box shut. The tears were coming now. "Why, why did you do it? Why run to her, when you had me right there in your grasp?"

He stood, but no made no move to touch her. "I was a fool Molly. I thought keeping you away would protect you. I needed and wanted you so badly that day. I couldn't see straight. I was half crazed with desire and lust when I got home. She was there, with no strings attached and I, well…"

"I need you to leave." She said in a low whisper. He gathered his coat and scarf and made for the door. She turned to look at him one last time, box clutched tightly in her hand.

"Once I've made up my mind about something I don't relent. You know that much about me Molly. So believe me when I say I will never stop loving you."

She gasped on a chocked sob. He put his hand on the door and stopped. He turned to look at her one last time.

"Fuck it," he growled out and tossed his coat and scarf on the floor, in two strides he had her in his arms and crushed his mouth to hers. She squirmed against him and he fought to kiss her. He picked her up and walked her back several feet until he pinned her up against the wall. She kept fighting to be released and he kept fighting for her to relinquish her mouth to him. The struggle went on for several minutes; he growled and pushed his erection against her. Something in her slipped and she wrapped her arms and legs around him. She opened her sweet mouth to him and he plunged his tongue in and devoured her. His heart was flying now. She was really his. He could make her his again. He came up for air and put his mouth on her ear. "Molly, god Molly I need you. I've been dying without you. Please…"

"Sherlock," was all she could utter. Her fight was gone. She didn't have the strength to deny him. He picked her up bridal style and kicked the bedroom door open. Putting her down, he kicked the door back shut. He couldn't undress her or him fast enough. Within moments he had her on the bed and entering her with one full thrust. She cried out at the feel of him entering her. Tears ran down her cheeks as he made love to her. He had never been this tender or gentle. This was a side of him she rarely saw. She could feel herself falling again. How would she come back from this? Oh God, Tony. She was about to stop this madness, but then he quickened his pace and pulled her knee up to his chest. He hit the right spot and she was gone. She screamed out his name as she came. Not long after he gave an animalistic roar and came deep inside her. He cuddled and kissed her more than he had in the past. Two more times he awoke her to lay claim to her.

Early the next morning she awoke to find him still there arms tightly around her. She heard her phone go off in the kitchen. She made to get up, but he clung tightly to her. She slowly moved his hands and slipped out of bed. She put her dressing gown on and headed out to make coffee. She picked up her phone and it read 3:38 am. She had two missed calls and a text from Tony. The guilt was almost unbearable. How could she do this to him? What would she tell him? She looked at the velvet box and opened it. She took the beautiful ring out and placed it on her left ring finger and just stared down at it.

"I want you to always wear it my love," she jumped as she looked up to find him standing there in the hallway with just the sheet wrapped around him.

She glanced back down at it again. He came around and hugged her from behind. "Come back to Baker Street with me. Let's make a life together, just you and me. I want you as my life partner Molly. I will have no other."

"Let me, let me think about if for a while, ok?"

"As you wish," he looked down at her phone and saw the time. "I'm going to take a shower. Want to join me?"

"Um, not right now."

"Your loss my love," he said as he kissed her ear.

Once the shower was running, she shot a text off to Tony saying she had fallen asleep at her flat while boxing up things. She would see him in the morning. She loved Tony so much and she knew this spelled the end of them. She tossed the phone down and looked at the ring again. That's when she heard it, the moaning text alert. Her blood went cold. It couldn't be. She heard it again and went to pick up his coat from the floor. She took out his phone and saw the two missed alerts from Irene. She knew his password and unlocked the phone. She read the messages and stopped breathing.

"Darling, I've missed you so these last few weeks. When will you be back from New York? I'm in need of you inside me!"

The second one was no better, "Let's meet at Baker Street. I would love for you to take me in the shower again. It was quiet delicious."

Stupid, stupid, stupid Molly. That was all she could think. She had fallen for it again. She ran into her room, put her clothes on quickly, and grabbed her coat and bag. Stopped at the counter to scribble a note and then ran out the door. She decided to go to her office and use the showers there and the change of clothes she had in her locker.

When he got out of the shower, he walked into the bedroom hoping to find Molly waiting for him. He walked into the living room with a broad smile and called her name. That's when he saw it. There on the kitchen counter was his phone, a note and the ring he had given Molly. He grabbed the note and it read, "Give it to Irene, I don't want it."

What the fuck? What had he missed in these last few minutes? Then he grabbed the phone. Of course she knew his password, MOLLY.

He saw the texts from Irene and cursed a blue streak that would make a sailor proud. No, this wasn't going to happen again. These texts were in reference to their time over a year ago. He had not touched the woman since that awful day at Baker Street. She had tried to entice him back out with her words but he had always ignored them. He quickly dressed and stalked out of the flat heading for Molly's work. He would be damned if he would lose her again.

Parked in the staff parking garage Molly just sat there and stared at the steering wheel. No tears just numbness. She felt so cold. The realization of what she had just done weighed heavily on her heart and conscience. The last 9 years of her life had been like a cat and mouse game. She had always known her feelings for Sherlock. She had waited patiently as he fought and figured out how to deal with having feelings for someone. Then once he was resolved to act on those feelings he had never really been there for her. Then came the fall. He had come to her desperately making love to her night after night. And then, he pushed her away again. Two years passed and nothing from him. When he returned it was worse than ever. He manipulated her and ignored her. She had tried to get him to let his guard down and realize it was ok to love someone and be loved.

"Love doesn't make you weak; it's the lack there of that makes you weak." She had been patient with him time after time. Then when her heart was torn apart she had left. It seemed as though he had an epiphany of some sort when she left. Suddenly he wasn't afraid to state his feelings and act upon them. Tonight she had given into him only to be hurt again. Time after time he would pull her close, make her feel loved and cherished only to push her away and revert back to being the old Sherlock. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She saw Tony's face. She had finally found a good man, who treated her the way she had dreamed Sherlock would. Now she had betrayed him. Telling him the truth would kill her, but she refused to string someone along and treat them the way Sherlock had treated her all those years. She finally realized she would never be free of Sherlock. She would never be able to move on. She knew if she lost Tony she would give into Sherlock and go back to Baker Street with him. She knew for a while it would be pure heaven, but then the same old pattern would revert back. It was only a matter of time before he pushed her away again using whatever excuse he could find. She couldn't do this anymore.

Hands shaking she picked up her phone and dialed Tony's number. He deserved this conversation in person, but she couldn't bear to face him.

"Molly, honey where are you?" He asked in a sleepy voice. She couldn't speak. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

"Molly, what's wrong?" He asked this time his voice was alert and awake.

"I, I've done something awful," her voice broke with a sob at the end of her statement.

"Honey, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"I, I can't do this anymore."

"What? Do what anymore?" She could hear the weariness in his voice.

"I'm so sorry, I love you so much, but I will never be free of him." Now the tears were streaming down her face.

"What did that bastard do?" She could hear the hate in his voice.

"What he always does, I get away and he pulls me back in. I'm not strong enough to do this anymore."

There was silence on the phone and she could hear him taking shaky deep breaths. "Did, did you sleep with him?"

"Yes," she said barely above a whisper, "I'm sorry Tony." She didn't give him time to yell or hang up. She simply ended the call, turned her car on and left the parking garage.

"There is only one way to be free of him," and with that she turned her car north and drove. Hours passed and she finally stopped in some little town she didn't catch the name of. She parked in the pharmacy parking lot and waited for it to open. Once it was open she went in, had her refill of sleeping pills filled and left. Around noon, she stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of Irish whisky and then found a little hotel further up the road. Sitting on the hotel bed, she stared at her reflection in the mirror across the room and then down to the pills and liquor. "This is the only way I will be free of him."

She knew either way she chooses would be suicide. If she gave into him and tried to build a life she knew he would repeat the same patterns until she would just die of a broken heart. Doing this would just be the quicker route to what she already knew was the only ending her life with Sherlock could have. She quickly wrote two letters on the cheap hotel stationary, folded and addressed them. One letter was addressed to Sherlock and one to Tony. She turned, spun the liquor top off and took several sips of false courage. Tears streaming she popped several pills in her mouth and took another sip. This was repeated until all were gone. Now it was time to go to sleep and finally have peace with herself. She lay down on the bed and soon she slipped under.

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The first thing she became aware of was the headache. God, it hurt so badly. It felt as though her head would split open at any second. The next thing she was aware of was a very annoying beeping. She could hear a voice, but she assumed she was dreaming. Is this how overdosing feels? She couldn't open her eyes, they felt so heavy. The beeping noise was growing louder and more annoying by the passing second. She forced her eyes to open slightly only to gasp at the pain of very bright light. Then she heard that voice again. It sounded familiar. Everything seemed strange and she couldn't focus her eyes or her mind. She pried her eyes open again and saw a tall figure standing over her. She blinked several times and finally the face came into to focus and she burst out in tears.

"Shhh, Molly, its ok. I'm here darling." Two strong arms reached down and circled her and hugged her.

"Tony?" she asked with choked sobs.

"Yes, darling. It's going to be ok. Don't talk, just rest."

He must have seen her panic and confusion. She was looking around the room and then back at him. She looked like a scared doe looking for a place to dart off too.

"Molly, calm down. We will get through this, ok? He smiled down at her and ran his hand over her forehead and through her hair. To weak and overcome with emotion she slipped back under to sleep.

Tony stood there and sighed deeply. He loved this woman with all his heart. Looking at her lying in that bed made his heart wrench. He knew they had a lot to work through, but he wasn't a quitter. Just because one of them had slipped didn't mean it was time to throw in the towel. He turned and walked out of her hospital room. Closing the door slowly he turned and looked down at the dark hair man sitting on the floor next to Molly's door. Sherlock slowly brought himself to his feet.

Tony wanted nothing more than to rip Sherlock apart. He clinched his fist and thanked his military training for keeping him in line. "She's awake."

Sherlock let out a long deep breath and closed his eyes. He was a selfish, cold bastard and he knew what he had to do. He thanked a god he didn't believe in that he had had the foresight to put a tracer on Molly's phone when they had met up with Greg in the hospital cafe. He couldn't bear to think what would have happened if he hadn't had Mycroft track her that awful night. He had found her just in time. She was just barely alive and his world was ripped apart. Riding in the ambulance with her he realized he had done this to her. He had driven her to this and he knew it had to stop. The words from John echoed in his head. "Honor her love by becoming the man she always knew you could be."

He quietly walked into her room and moved close to her bedside. For a while he just stood there and watched her. He looked at his selfish handy work. He took her hand and in a low whisper said, "I'm sorry Molly."

And then the man who had claimed he would only make one vow in his life made an exception and said, "I vow I will never hurt you again."

He leaned down and lightly kissed her cheek. He moved to her ear and whispered, "I will always love you Molly Hooper."

With that he returned her hand to her side, turned and walked out of her room as quietly as he had come in. As soon as the door closed, her tears began to fall down her face and she quietly sobbed.

Once outside of her room he came to stand next to Tony and they both watched the rain coming down outside the window. "I have come to realize you are indeed a good man. She deserves to be cherished and loved unconditionally. Promise me you will take care of her."

Tony looked straight ahead and nodded his head yes.

"Then it's settled." With that Sherlock turned and walked away, down the corridor and out of the hospital. Flying home that evening to London he pondered upon the last 9 years of his life. He knew that something had happened to him in the last 72 hours. Something had shifted in him and he knew he would be going home a different man.


	9. Chapter 9, I Learned What Real Love Is

**Chapter 9**

**I Learned What Real Love Is**

John had received word from Mycroft that Sherlock was on his way home. He was waiting for him at Baker Street when he arrived home. He dreaded to find out what kind of state Sherlock would be in. Both he and Mycroft feared that he was using again. John sat his paper aside as he heard the downstairs door open. With the sound of heavy, slow footsteps coming up the stairs he stood and stopped short at the sight of Sherlock. He hadn't shaved in days and his hair was a frenzied mess. In place of his typical expensive suit and dress shirt he wore jeans and a black t-shirt under his Belstaff. John was alarmed at his current state.

"Ah, hello John." He said dropping his bag next to the door and hanging his coat. Moving past John he went and set down in his faithful chair. While he was happy to see John, he really just wanted to be alone. Alone he could think and file away memories that were just too hurtful to ever bring up again.

"Hello Sherlock! Would you like to tell me where the bloody hell you have been for the last week?"

Sherlock didn't answer he just sat and gazed into the roaring fireplace.

"Sherlock? Sherlock!" John's voice was raised in anger and alarm. Sherlock finally looked at him. John observed the bloodshot eyes and trembling hands.

"Are you using?" John asked flatly.

"No, I'm clean." He softly replied as he looked back into the fire. "You can have me tested if you don't believe me. With my history I know you have no cause to take my word for it"

"You had us all bloody worried wondering where the hell you had ran off too." John sat down in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Jesus Sherlock, what is going on? Hmm? Does this have something to do with Molly?"

"Hmm, I am sorry John. I didn't mean to worry you."

"What, what did you just say?" John stared at him in disbelief.

"John, I'm very tired. If you will excuse me I'm going to get some sleep." With that he stood, picked up his bag and made his way into his bedroom at the end of the hallway.

John sat there in disbelief. Had he heard Sherlock correctly? Did Sherlock just apologize to him? Normally Sherlock would give the old argument that it was his life and he would do as he wanted to with it, but he made no dispute or objections. He knew from Greg that they had seen Molly while they were in NY. It had been just a few hours before they were to fly back that Sherlock had bailed on Greg and disappeared. What the hell had happened to him? Why was he acting so, so calm. He wasn't used to this Sherlock. He was used to the manic Sherlock, the one who was constantly moving, thinking and talking. He was used to the Sherlock that could tear a person apart verbally without even batting an eyelash. Something had changed in him. He could sense it the first moment he laid eyes on him. Bloody hell, had Sherlock Holmes grown up?

Weeks and then months passed. John was still in a tailspin from the change in his friend. He could see it in the way he treated people, hell he was even civil to Greg and Donovan. He even tolerated Anderson. Granted once a case, a good one came along he would catch sight of the old Sherlock every now and then. But this new Sherlock was turning out to be a good thing. He was still high strung at times, but it was definitely a better version of the old Sherlock.

He could never get out of him what exactly had happened that missing week in NY and Bethesda. Any time John would broach the subject; Sherlock would just smile and simply say nothing. Once an only once did Sherlock provide a cryptic message to John's question.

"I learned what real love was." He then turned, picked up his violin and spoke not a word for two days after that.

After that revelation he never commented again on that missing week. Eventually John stopped asking and life moved on. Several years and many cases came and went. They never spoke of Molly again. Sherlock continued to be more steady and mellow. One day John came over to visit with Rosie. Sherlock was scanning his emails while waiting for one of his experiments to finish cooking in the microwave.

"Hello John," he said without looking up.

"Uncle Lock, uncle Lock!" John put the little girl down and off she ran with her arms wide open. Only then did Sherlock look up and smile. He opened his arms and scooped up the adorable little Rosie.

"And how are you today Miss Watson?"

"I'm fine. Are we still going to the park later?"

"But of course Miss Watson. We have a standing date for the park every Tuesday." He kissed her chubby little cheek and stood up to look at John.

"Guess who I saw this morning?" John said a little winded from the stairs.

"I haven't the foggiest, but I would assume from your tone that you are quite eager to tell me."

"Molly!" John sat down in his seat and took his gloves off.

Sherlock looked up and smiled but said not a word.

"She looks great Sherlock. She really looks happy. I met her husband Tony and also their…" John trailed off wondering if this was the wisest discussion to be having with Sherlock.

"And John?" Sherlock looked back down at his laptop.

"Their son. He's a handsome little guy. His name is, umm. Wait a minute it's on the tip of my tongue."

"Patrick," Sherlock volunteered while sitting down in the floor to play with Rosie.

"Yes, Patrick," John said looking at Sherlock with a raised eyebrow. "Um, Sherlock, how did you know their son's name?"

"Really John, isn't it obvious?" He smiled and handed Rosie one of her little toys and watched her with joyful eyes.

"Um not to me it isn't. Why don't you enlighten me?"

"John, she's the woman I love. Do you really think I haven't kept an eye on her all these years? I may no longer be a part of her life, but that doesn't mean I haven't stopped loving and caring for her. I keep an eye on her and her family. Col. Evans and I have an understanding. He keeps her safe on the home front, Mycroft and I take care of anything beyond that."

John sat there in complete and utter shock. If there had been any doubt over these last few years in John's mind it disappeared. Sherlock Holmes was truly a changed man.

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The next day he and Lestrade walked into the morgue at St. Bart's. Looking around they didn't find Mike Stamford. Sherlock proceeded down the hall to Mike's office and walked in. When he entered he froze as heard the laugh of one Molly Evans. He held his breath as she turned and smiled at him.

"Hello Sherlock," she said with no hesitation.

"Hello Molly. John had mentioned you were in London. Here for a visit?"

"Yes, sort of. Tony is here on military business. Patrick and I are sightseeing and enjoying a little holiday together." He looked down and saw a little boy hiding behind Molly's dress. He peaked around her and then ducked back behind her.

"Patrick Anthony Evans, come out from behind me and say hello to another one of mommy's friends."

The little boy shyly came out from behind Molly to stand next to her. Slowly Sherlock crouched down to the boy's level. He looked just like Molly. He had his father's green eyes, but all the rest was Molly. His heart ached. His mind screamed at him, "This could have been your child. This could have been your wife and family." He had to quickly end this line of thinking. Too much time wondering what could have been was detrimental to his mental wellbeing and sobriety.

"Hello Patrick, my name is Sherlock."

The little boy gave a shy smile and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you sir."

Sherlock took his tiny hand and gave it a shake. "How do you like London young man?"

"I like it! We went to the zoo yesterday. I saw a cheetah!"

"Wow that does sound like quiet an adventure. I like the zoo too." He stood and gazed once more at the small boy before returning his eyes to Molly's. She had changed. She had an air of confidence about her that he had never seen before. She was stronger and peaceful.

"Molly, how have you been?"

He looked long and hard into her eyes. "Do you know I think about you every hour? You are never out of my mind and heart. Please love me again, please let me kiss you and make love to you." He pushed back his thoughts and glanced over at Mike. He was torturing himself mentally. He knew he had to leave soon or he would say something that he would regret later. She was happy and that's all he wanted for her.

"I'm really good, Sherlock. You look well also. As you mentioned I saw John the other day he looks like fatherhood agrees with him very much. I wish I could see Rosie."

"Yes, John is an excellent father. After all he had years of practice with me before Rosie came along. I'm afraid he has more grey hair from still trying to keep me in check. Some days are easier than others." He said with a chuckle.

"As for Miss Watson, she is well. We have a standing date every Tuesday for the park near Baker Street and I'm teaching her the violin."

"I'm glad to hear it Sherlock. Well, Patrick and I have to be going. We are meeting Tony back at the hotel for dinner. It was really good to see you again." She reached out and placed her hand on his arm.

"It's good to see you are doing so well. Take care of yourself Sherlock." He gave her a smile and placed his hand on top of hers for only a moment. He heard her sharp intake of air and knew she too had felt the jolt of electricity that passed between them. He removed his hand and stepped away. He trained his eyes on Mike.

"Mike, Lastrade and I need to see the Mayfield body. That is when you have a moment."

"Sure Sherlock. Molly it was great to see you again. Any time you want to come back to Bart's let me know." He reached over and kissed her on the cheek and proceeded out of his office.

"It was very good to see you again Molly. It was a pleasure to meet you Patrick Evans. You take good care of your mummy ok." He turned and proceeded out the door.

"Sherlock," she called after him. He turned and looked into her eyes. "It was really good to see you again." He gave her a forced smile and left.

That evening after the case was wrapped up he stood at his window and played his violin. He had not composed anything in years, but now after seeing her face this afternoon he had inspiration to compose again. He played late into the night and retired to his bed. Sleep didn't come easy, but when it did he dreamed of her being in his arms again. Kissing her and claiming her body over and over again. Now he knew how she had felt all those years while he looked through her and not at her. Unrequited love was by far a cruel punishment. The urge to use was always there, but tonight it was even more so. The old Sherlock would have thrown caution to the wind and searched out his 7% solution to his current heartache. Hell the old Sherlock would have gone after her consequences be damned. But he hadn't faltered in years, he had to stay clean for her. If she ever needed him he was determined to be there with a clear mind and body. He glanced at the clock and it was 4:14 am. He hesitated, but picked up the phone and dialed John.

"Sherlock," he answered yawning. "What's going on? I thought we finished the case up last night."

"John, I need a favor without any questions."

"What is it?" Another yawn.

"Can you come over?" It killed him to ask for help, but if he was going to stay on the straight and narrow he would need help getting through the next few hours.

In a knowing voice John replied, "Rosie and I will be there shortly."

"Thank you John." He hung up and made his way to the sitting room. Forty five minutes later he heard John walk through the door with Rosie.

"Uncle Lock," the little 6 year old girl with the sleepy, pretty blue eyes and blond curls said before jumping into Sherlock's lap.

"Ump, and hello to you Miss Watson." He gave her a huge smile and tickled her under the chin.

"You ok?" Asked John, shrugging off his coat.

"Better now," Sherlock replied without looking up.

John made his way into the kitchen and put the kettle on. He smiled as he heard Sherlock and Rosie roar with thunder at some inside joke between the two of them. He turned and watched them. He was showing her how to focus the microscope on his desk. John absorbed his friend. Deep down Sherlock and always been a good man, he just didn't like showing it. He thought showing feelings made him appear weak. After what ever happened in NY all those years ago, he had come back a mature Sherlock. Each passing year he had changed for the better. He was still Sherlock, but he was a better man not above putting other people's needs before his. Especially the ones he loved. He wished that he and Molly could have found their way to each other. She was very good for him, but unfortunately at that point in time he was not very good for her or himself for that matter. The Sherlock he watched this moment would have been very good for her. The man he was now would be able to be in a relationship with her and provide her with what she needed. But alas she wasn't free, and he knew Sherlock would only love once. There would be no other woman for him except Molly and since she was no longer his he was content to watch her from afar and love her quietly in his heart.


	10. Chapter 10, I'm Here If You Need Me

**Chapter 10**

**I'm Here If You Need Me**

Two years went by and many more cases were chronicled on Watson's blog. One of his biggest cases had come just a few months after seeing Molly. One of the royal heirs had gone and got himself kidnapped while on holiday in Italy. The story was a worldwide media frenzy. All eyes were trained on the detective and after a week he had liberated the young man from his captors. Upon completion of the case, Sherlock had turned into a full-fledged international celebrity. He had been offered a Knighthood many times, each time he declined. This time he accepted the honor after Mycroft's threated him with monthly musical theater trips with their parents. So now he was referred to as Sir Sherlock by the news media. He was the most sought out detective in the world. Things were going well for him and he appeared content.

That all changed early one fall morning. Mrs. Hudson heard crashes upstairs and the sound of glass breaking. After an hour of listening to the frantic commotion above her she drew the courage to go upstairs and check on him. She cautiously entered the sitting room and found it cluttered with papers. The coffee table had been overturned and fragments of glass lay in different spots on the floor. The chairs in the kitchen were overturned and more glass lay on the countertops and tile. Her eyes focused on Sherlock. He sat in his chair picking at the strings of his violin. He looked at the fire as if he were in a daze.

"Sherlock, my boy are you alright?" She asked. He gave no reply.

"Sherlock?" She said through new tears forming in her eyes.

Mrs. Hudson retreated downstairs and immediately called John. By the time John had arrived he could hear the heart breaking music from the violin all the way down on the street. Mrs. Hudson opened the door with tears in her eyes. "Oh, John thank heavens. Something is terribly wrong. I can see it and feel it."

"Ok, Mrs. Hudson, let me go see what's happened." Slowly he made his way into the flat. He shrugged off his coat and took a seat in his old chair. He didn't say a word as he eyed the mess around him. Something really bad had to have happened for Sherlock to lash out like this. He knew Sherlock was aware he was there, but he knew his friend well enough to know he would speak when he was ready. After an hour, Sherlock abruptly stopped. He didn't speak but turned his ear at the sound of footsteps on the stairs. John looked up and observed the reclusive Mycroft Holmes coming through the door. For all the years John had known Mycroft he had always worn one look. Many people would call it a poker face; he always left people wondering what he was truly thinking. The only times that face had wavered were during the times of Sherlock's relapses, that is up until now. Mycroft's face looked tired and worried.

Mycroft spotted John and simply nodded and then walked towards Sherlock.

"Has it been confirmed?" Sherlock asked looking at Mycroft with steel cold eyes.

"Unfortunately, yes. The ID was made by his commanding officer earlier this morning." Mycroft sat down heavily in Sherlock's chair and drew in a deep breath.

"Um, would someone like to let me in on what's going on?" John said standing.

Sherlock turned back to the window and placed his violin back on its stand. Mycroft eyed John for a few moments and then spoke.

"Col. Evans was killed yesterday in Afghanistan."

"Bloody hell…." John dropped back down in his chair and fought to breathe. "Oh, God, Molly…."

"Yes, she will be informed later today in the states. It appears he had been sent out for his last deployment. He was set to retire next year when he returned."

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph," was all John could respond.

"Sherlock, he will be interred at Arlington with full military honors. I should know within 24 hours more details. I have taken the liberty of doubling hers and Patrick's security. Once I have more details I will let you and Dr. Watson know. I will also have a jet on standby. We can make the necessary arrangements later once we have been informed of more details of the timeline."

"Thank you Mycroft." Was all Sherlock said as he walked away into his room and shut the door.

Mycroft and John looked at each other. John finally spoke. "You know I only met him once, but even in that short time I could see how much they loved each other. He seemed like a good man for Molly."

Mycroft nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, he was a very rare man. He was both good and honorable. This world needs more soldiers like him. John, can you please keep an eye on him?" He asked nodding towards Sherlock's door.

John was shocked to hear Mycroft use the word please. He was more used to hearing demands and not requests from Mycroft. John shook his head and stated he would be staying.

They both looked around at the destruction Sherlock had caused in the flat. It was very obvious that his heart was hurting for Molly. He was aware, hell they were all aware of the heartache she would soon be going through. He remembered the anger and pain when he had lost Mary so many years ago. Molly and Patrick's world was about to be turned upside down and it was imperative that they all be there for her.

Forty eight hours later Mycroft, John and Sherlock were on a private plane heading for Washington, DC. John had left messages for Molly and had sent several emails. He knew she wouldn't want to talk right now, but he wanted her to know that they were coming and they were there for her.

Sherlock had barely spoken two words in the last two days. His heart was hurting for Molly. He wasn't sure if she would want him there, but he had to try and show her he was there if she and Patrick needed anything. They arrived late in the evening and went straight to their prospective hotel rooms. After a light dinner John went to check on Sherlock. He approached the room and knocked. After a few seconds Sherlock opened the door and allowed John in. "Hey, you doing ok Mate?"

"I'm not sure what to expect tomorrow. The last time I was here, Molly and I, we…" He walked away and refused to finish his sentence.

"Sherlock, why don't you just tell me what the bloody hell happened that week you disappeared from New York. It might help to talk about it."

Sherlock sat down and after a long pause he began to tell John the entire story of that week in Maryland. After all the ins and outs John just sat there as if dumb struck. After a moment John took a deep breath and uttered one word, "Shit."

Now everything was starting to become clearer to John. This explained the change in Molly and Sherlock's relationship not to mention the change in him. For the first time in his life Sherlock Holmes had put someone else's feelings before his own selfish desires and wants. John had known way before that week that Sherlock loved Molly, but now he understood the depths of that love. It was a love that poets wrote about, a love that songs were written about. It was a love that so few acquired. It was something fine and very rare.

SHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMH

The sky was grey and it had rained most of the morning. Sherlock stood there on that cold hillside and looked out over the hundreds of white tombstones lined in perfect rows. His eyes went to Molly and Patrick. Molly looked completely devastated. He could see the red eyes from hours of crying. She was trembling as Tony's flag was presented to her. She was putting up such a brave front. He looked down to her side and knew this brave front was for the little boy grasping her hand for dear life. No boy should have to go through this. Molly had endured so much heartache in her life, most of which were at his hands, unfortunately. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Molly had been very happy with Tony. She radiated happiness when he had seen her two years ago in London. At that time it had been so hard to accept that it hadn't been him that made her that happy. He was content to know she was happy and he would just watch from afar to make sure Tony kept his word from all those years ago. Now, here they all stood. Molly flinched each time the shots rang out. Patrick turned his face in towards Molly's side and she held him tightly. Her brewing tears were starting to fall now. As taps played out she sobbed. Sherlock's heart clinched. He wanted nothing more to hold her and protect her from this anguish, but he knew that was no longer an option for him. He could only stand there with clinched jaw and listen to his mind rage against the injustice that Molly was suffering.

A half an hour later Molly stood alone in front of Tony's grave. She held the flag to her chest and brought her hand to her eyes periodically to wipe her tears away. Sherlock stood by his car and watched her. He had not approached her at all today. He wanted to be respectful of her space and feelings, but he wanted her to know he was there if she needed him. A few minutes later she slowly walked towards the car her mother and son were waiting in. She stopped before getting in and glanced over at Sherlock. She didn't have to say a word; he could read it in her eyes. She was ok with him being there, but she needed her space. He watched as she got in and the car drove off. He stood there for a moment and then entered his own car. Both John and Mycroft eyed him. The entire trip back to the hotel was spent in complete silence.

Once back in London things slowly returned to normal, well whatever passed as normal when it came to Sherlock Holmes. John had started seeing a lady called Lizzy Harris. She was a lawyer he had met while they were working a case. She was good for him and he appeared to be happy. Mrs. Hudson was a little older and slower, but she was still as feisty as ever. Mycroft, well Mycroft never changed. He seemed to be the most unchanged of them all. Sherlock was quieter upon his return from America and John could see he hurt for Molly. He knew he still longed for her and couldn't bear to see her hurt. He would never speak of it, but John knew him well enough to know he was hurting.


	11. Chapter 11, Full Circle

**Chapter 11**

**Full Circle**

**One Year Later…**

Sherlock knew the steps coming up to his door. What he didn't know was why Mycroft was there to bother him during a case. Slowly the door opened and Sherlock looked up from his book to observe the tired face of his older brother.

"Government need saving again Mycroft? I'm busy, leave!"

"Ah, delightful to see you too brother mine. I'm actually here to provide you with some information which you will be very much interested in." He walked a few more steps into the room.

"Well, it must be very important if you decide a text wasn't good enough to keep me informed. We both know you hate legwork." Sherlock went back to his book.

"It was announced earlier this week that St. Bart's has been provided with a rather large endowment to make provisions for a state of the art research lab."

"I see," was Sherlock's only reply. He hadn't even bothered to look up from his book.

"Sherlock, you wouldn't happen to know where the donation came from would you?" Sherlock didn't look up.

"Not a clue Mycroft."

"Hmm." Mycroft eyed him suspiciously.

"Well, the new wing will require a director. They have offered the job to Molly. She accepted the position this morning via conference call." Mycroft waited for any sign of life from his brother. Sherlock sat there still looking at his book, but he couldn't comprehend a single word in front of him. She was coming home, coming home to London. His inner being was awash with something he couldn't quiet describe. He became aware of Mycroft's eyes on him. He closed his eyes and cleared his throat.

"Well, she would be the logical choice considering her history at St. Bart's and her research in America. Excuse me Mycroft, but I have to meet John within the hour." With that he tossed the book on the side table, walked past Mycroft, grabbed his coat and headed down the stairs. Mycroft didn't turn to watch him; he just simply gave an all knowing smile. Sherlock was behind this somehow, he was proud of him for making it impossible for him to prove it. He had taught his younger brother well.

A month past and she had taken the position and settled in to her knew roll as head of research. Her first week there she was unpacking some boxes in her new office. She has also been dealing with construction plans, ordering equipment and budget meetings. She smiled as she looked down at the picture of her and Patrick. He was now 8 years old and heading into his 3rd year of school. How quickly he was growing up. He was such a wonderful little boy. He had his dad's determination, but his mother's heart. Slowly she placed the picture frame on her desk and went to stand by the window. Not a day went by that she didn't think of Tony. He had made her so happy. He had been her rock, friend and lover. She would never forget him or what they had, but each day got a little easier to get up and face whatever the new day had in store. When she was approached about the job here at Bart's she didn't even hesitate. She wanted to come home and show Patrick the London she loved. Here they could start over and honor Tony's memory by living their best life. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. She turned and looked into the warm eyes of Sherlock Holmes.

"Hello Molly," he said standing in the doorway.

"Hello Sherlock," she replied in kind and gave a small smile. He smiled back at her and she felt her heart skip a beat. Even after all these years he could still make her heart skip a beat. She had loved Tony, but she would never stop loving Sherlock. She had never fully stopped loving Sherlock. She had also loved Tony, but the two loves were not comparable. The love she shared with Tony was so easy and caring. The love she shared with Sherlock was complicated and hurtful. There was no doubt that they both had needed to grow up. Now she was a mum and had grown into a confident woman in the last few years. She had sensed the change in Sherlock from his actions, words and the emails John sent her periodically.

"I wanted to congratulate you and say welcome home." He said as his eyes took in every inch of her. There was a time when he could rake his eyes over her and she would blush very sweetly. The woman that stood before him did no such thing. She simply smiled at him again and thanked him.

"I see you are still consulting with NSY. As before I will be happy to accommodate your investigations and research within reason."

"Thank you. How is Patrick?"

"She turned a little shocked that he would enquire about her son. "He's amazing. I'm very lucky to have him. He is sweet and very smart. Just like his dad."

"I would say he has a lot of his mom in him as well."

She looked up at him a little shocked. "Was, was there something you needed help with? I have a meeting with the board in 10 mins." She said looking down at her watch.

"Ah, no. I will see you around." He turned and walked away.

Once outside and safely inside a cab heading back to Baker Street, he took a long deep breath. He closed his eyes and saw her face. (You are no good for her, you can't touch her, don't even dream of making her yours again). So the little voice echoed in his head. But oh how he wanted her. She had grown up, but she was still Molly. He wanted her to be his Molly again, but this time he would do it right.

Months passed and they danced their way around each other in the labs. They were finding a good place to be at, but each time they were together one could feel the tension in the room. John had witnessed it on several occasions and would just shake his head and keep his mouth shut. Even Lestrade had caught on to it. Sherlock would look at her like a love struck boy. Finally after weeks of seeing this he cornered Sherlock in the lab when Molly had stepped out.

"For the love of God Sherlock, ask that girl out and put both of you out of your misery." He left Sherlock standing there in the lab and chuckled as he walked away.

_ Have dinner with me on Friday? SH_

He had made the first step. He didn't even know if she would respond. After a couple of hours his phone pinged and he grabbed it.

_ Can't, already have plans. – ME_

Damn! He wondered if she really had plans or just didn't want to have dinner with him.

_ Understood – SH_

_It's not what you think Sherlock, I promised Patrick to take him to the movies this Friday. - MH_

She laid there in her bed and smiled at the phone. She pondered upon his text. She knew from the last few years between John's email updates and the blog that Sherlock had changed. He had changed for the better and she was happy for him. There was no question that she still loved him, and laying there she was so very lonely. She missed making love at night and waking up in a man's arms in the morning.

Patrick was at her mum's house for a few days. She had her nice new townhouse all to herself. She laid there and wondered if she should allow Sherlock back into her life that way. She wasn't sure the extent of his feelings at this point, but she had sensed something a few days ago when he was in the lab with her. And now he had reached out and asked her out. For the first time in years she allowed herself to remember the feel of his kiss, the feel of his hands and oh, God that voice. His voice could make her shiver with pure happiness. She liked this new Sherlock. He was calmer, but there was still that underlying sense of urgency and danger.

"Oh, God Molly get a grip. Not again." She rolled over in her bed and snuggled under the covers. And tried to take her mind off Sherlock Holmes.

Part of her wanted to just roll over and forget about having anything else to do with Sherlock Holmes. The other part of her wanted to put some clothes on, head over to Baker Street and kiss the hell out of him. Laying there a few more minutes her mind was made up. She would no longer live her life in fear. She wasn't afraid to put her feelings out there any longer. If there was one thing Tony had taught her it was to be unafraid of life. Life was meant to be lived and to enjoy every day. She knew she could stand her ground against Sherlock now. She was no one's doormat to be stepped upon. She felt that both of them were finally at a place where they could create a loving relationship and not destroy each other or kill each other for that matter!

Sherlock heard his phone ping and glanced at the clock, it read 1:16 am. He simply thought Mycroft was up to something and decided to ignore it. Then it pinged again. Growling he picked it up from the bedside table and glared at it.

_Awake? – ME_

_ Yes, reading. Everything ok? – SH_

_ No, not really. – ME_

_ What's wrong? Are you and Patrick ok? SH_

_ Patrick's at my mum's for a few days, I'm not doing so well. – MH_

_ Want to talk? –SH_

It was hard for Sherlock to put himself out there with her. He didn't want to hurt her ever again, but he was also aware that he had changed over the last few years. He understood that humans needed to communicate feelings every now and then, so he tried his best to be a good friend.

He waited for a reply, but after fifteen minutes he gave up and put the phone down, picked up his book and went back to reading.

Another twenty minutes and the phone pinged again. He grabbed it and saw her reply.

_ Knock, knock! – MH_

He sat up in bed. It couldn't be. Surely she wasn't here. He quickly got up and went to the sitting room window. There standing at the door below him was his Molly. His heart raced and he went down to let her in and lead her upstairs. She hesitated and went inside. She walked over to the fire place and smiled at the skull, some things never change. She turned as she heard the door being clicked and locked. Sherlock stood there with a look of confusion and hopefulness. She didn't want to listen to reason any more. She had loved this man for over 15 years. She had never stopped loving him and now here she was standing in his home. There were no barriers between them. They both had grown up over the last few years. She feared he may reject her, but she had to take that chance. She wouldn't let happiness pass her by again. Without thinking she ran to him and put her arms around his neck, pulled him down and kissed him. She ran her tongue over his lips and felt him stiffen and take a sharp breath in. She stood there and repeated her attempt to get him to respond. When he didn't, she pulled away and sighed. It was too late for them. She simply nodded that she understood and turned to gather her bag. She walked around him and put her hand on the door to unlock it to leave. Suddenly his hand was on the door and with a tortured voice he said, "Don't leave."

She turned and looked up at him. Before she could comprehend the look on his face, he crashed his lips down on hers. She whimpered and dropped her bag on the floor. Her arms circled his neck and one hand ran through his curls. He pressed her against the door with such force that she moaned out. His hands were everywhere. His tongue darted in and out of her mouth. She felt the tears of joy falling from her eyes and she moaned into his mouth. He finally broke the kiss to come up for air. He kissed her neck and ran his hands down her back. Cupping her ass he raised her up and on instinct the lifted her legs around him.

"Molly," he whispered a plea in her ear. He carried her to his room and kicked the door shut. He placed her down on her feet and both fumbled with the other's clothing. She gave a little giggle when she realized they were both as nervous as teenagers. Both were all thumbs. After the final material barrier was gone he picked her up and placed her on his bed. Her brown hair fanning out around his pillow.

"No, no foreplay, Sherlock." She gasped out. He looked down into her passionate eyes and understood. With one thrust he was inside her. Oh God how long had he dreamed and hoped for this moment. He finally had the woman he loved. He moved against her and she was calling out his name. He had wanted to take his time if they had reunited, but neither one of them were patient, both wanted the other hard and fast. She met each thrust and kiss he provided. She was quickly coming undone under him. He knew she wouldn't last much longer and he quickened his pace. His thrusts were harder and harder. She was screaming at this point and he growled as he braced his hand on the headboard and kept thrusting as hard as he could.

He watched Molly's head fall back and her mouth opened, "Sherlock..."

She went ridged around him and bucked her hips. Never had she had an orgasm like this. It was hard and long. When her body came down he braced himself again and thrust against her again. She was moaning and writhing under him. Finally he felt his own coming on. He repeatedly slammed into her so hard the headboard was banging against the wall. He pushed as far into her as he could and a loud groan filled the room followed by her name being repeated as if it were a prayer. He tried to roll off of her, but she clutched him tightly not willing to release him so quickly.

She lay there breathing in deep breaths with her eyes closed. He too was catching his breath but he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was real, she was here and she was finally his. He kissed her nose and she giggled and opened her eyes. Ah, there was his Molly, the little mouse he loved so much. He gave her one final kiss and rolled off her. He lay on his side and just stared at her content face. He watched her now steady breathing.

"Molly?"

"Hmm," she said stretching a little.

"No more mixed signals, no more doubting each other. I love you and I want to marry you. Do you understand? There has been no one else and I only want you."

She turned to look into his eyes, but held her answer. He looked into her eyes and saw the wheels turning. He waited for the debate he knew she would start. He had prepared for it and was ready to argue every point with her.

Then she did something he hadn't pre-pared for. She smiled up at him and simply said, "Ok."

"What no arguing? No me talking you into it?" He sounded almost disappointed.

"Nope," she said popping the p just like him. "Just one question."

"Ah, I knew there would be something. What?"

"When? When do you want to marry me?"

"Today!"

"Umm, there is paperwork and things to be done."

"Nope!" He said back, giving her a devilish grin.

"Oh, how could I forget that you are related to the British Government." She gave a slight giggle and he growled and rolled her over on her back.

"Oh, Molly, you have no idea what I'm capable of," he said with a wicked grin. Catching him off guard she pushed him off onto his back and straddled him.

"And you have no idea what I'm capable of. Should I," she rubbed against him, "give you a sample of what I can do to you? I warn you, I show no mercy!"

Two days later in a registers office with only two members of his homeless network as witness Sherlock and Molly were wed. They had both agreed to not waste any more time and decided to bypass the church wedding and parties and simply connected their lives together as one. There was no press, no family and no friends. It was just the two of them saying simple vows and knowing they would be forever. She slipped a simple band of gold on his ring finger and he slipped a simple band of gold on hers which fit nicely next to her engagement ring of two days. The kiss was passionate and loving. As they walked out after the ceremony they hailed a cab and sat in silence on the way back to Baker Street. He took his phone out and texted John, Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade and Mycroft…

\- _Taking a much needed holiday. Will return within a weeks' time. - SH_

The only family made privy to the current state of affairs was Molly's mother. They had no choice but to inform her since she would be caring for Patrick while they were gone.

As soon as they arrived at Baker Street, Sherlock exited and returned with two pre-packed bags and a smile on his face.

After placing them in the boot he slid next to Molly as the cab pulled away heading for Heathrow. "So Mrs. Holmes, looking forward to our time away?"

"Yes, but I'm still willing to bet you won't make it a whole week. You will get bored or a delicious murder will occur and you will sprint right back to London." She smiled as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Ah, well you see that is where you're wrong. No one will be bothering me for the next week. I've seen to that."

"What do you mean?" She eyed him cautiously.

"No phone, no way to be bothered!"

"You, you left your phone?" She looked at him in disbelief.

"Yep!" He replied popping the p.

"You won't make it an hour without that phone. It's practically attached to your body. What if an emergency happens?"

"Molly, I've spent my entire adult life handling other people's emergencies. They can deal without me for a week."

"What if Mycroft sends out a search party or John worries."

He smiled a sly grin. "What did you do Sherlock?"

"Oh, just a little note left with my phone on the kitchen table."

He thought back to laving his phone on the kitchen table and leaning the note next to it. "Taking a holiday will not be reachable for the next week. Do try to sort things out for yourselves for once. Tell Mycroft I finally got myself a goldfish and made it legal."

"Mycroft, he's not here. Try calling him again." John said looking inside Sherlock's bedroom. Just then he heard Sherlock's phone go off.

"Hang on Mycroft, I hear his phone ringing." He walked into the kitchen and saw it sitting on the table. "I found it and he left a note."

John proceeded to read off the note, "What the hell does a goldfish have to do with all of this?"

Mycroft gave a slight chuckle, "John, he is fine. For once let's leave him be. If I really need him I will be able to find him, but I think after the last 10 years of events he has earned this week, don't you?"

"Yes, I suppose so," John said a little confused, "but a goldfish?"

"Yes, well let's just say there will now be a Dr. Holmes on staff at Bart's once he returns."

"Wait, what?" John said as Mycroft hung up.

John sat down at the table and pondered the note and confusing conversation. Suddenly he smiled and then laughed out loud. "You bastard, you actually did it." He was still laughing when Mrs. Hudson appeared at the door.

"John, what are you laughing about and why is Sherlock going on holiday?"

"Well Mrs. Hudson I believe it should be called a honeymoon and not a holiday at this point."

"What? Oh, he didn't? He married Molly didn't he?" She asked with happy tears in her eyes.

"Yep," John replied happily.

"Oh, she will be so good for him, but God help her."

Both John and Mrs. H joined in laughter as they walked out of the flat.

SHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMHSHMH

"So, um I have something to tell you." Molly said looking at Sherlock across the lab table."

"Hmm," was the only reply he gave still peering down into the microscope.

"Well, I'm not sure how you will react?"

All Molly got out of him again was "Hmm."

"Sherlock?" He gave no answer

"I've decided to divorce you and run off with Greg!" She peered at him and still no reaction. "Oh and we are quitting our jobs and joining the circus!"

Still no reply. She rolled her eyes at her darling husband. She walked over and twisted the microscope out of focus.

"Molly!" He growled as he sat up giving her a glare.

"Um, I'm trying to tell you something Sherlock do pay attention and try to keep up!"

He growled a little but told her to go on.

"I've had someone following me for the last few weeks. I can't make out if its boy or girl. They seem to be set on staying extremely close to me and they are stealing things from me."

"What," he sat there with his mouth wide open, "Mycroft, that bastard. I will call him; no I will go in person and ring his neck. More than likely it's one of his people. Wait a minute, stealing from you?"

"Yep," she replied popping the p.

"What have they taken?"

"Oh, my heart, my body" with this he stood with pure anger in his eyes. She smiled and continued, "my DNA, your DNA, my tummy, my appetite and let's see…"

She stood looking at him and watched as the anger left, replaced with confusion and then the light bulb went off. He sat down with a thump. "I, we, you…"

"That's right my consulting detective, you will have to add father to your list of accomplishments."

"A father…" he took a deep breath in and then smiled. Slowly he drew her closer and circled his hands around her waist. He looked down at her stomach and lovingly placed one of his hands on it.. "Hello."

Her tears fell and she bent down and kissed him. Soon he was standing and his arms were back around her. "My office," she murmured as she grabbed his hand.

"Why Dr. Holmes, you are shameless." He smirked as she locked the door and pulled her shades.

"Well, you did this to me so blame yourself if I hit a pregnancy hormonal sex drive suddenly."

"Oh, I think I can help you out with that little problem. Dr. Holmes. I'm very good at solving problems!" He wrapped her in his arms and the world was bright.

"Sherlock," she said looking up at him through her eye lashes. "Shut up and kiss me!"


End file.
